The beaver is a proud and noble animal

I tried my hand at making pancakes this morning. Sounds silly, but I'd never made them before. So GOOD, especially with fresh maple syrup!

I was talking with kaliko_mel yesterday night about weird dreams. I've been getting some doosies these past few days. That tends to happen when I get a lot on my mind. Happened again last night. Bleh.

Ingredients:

1 1/2 cups cake flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
2 teaspoons baking powder
Heavy pinch salt
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1 egg
1 cup yogurt
1 1/2 cups chocolate chunks
Vegetable spray, for the muffin tins

Preheat oven to 380 degrees F.
In a large bowl sift together the flour, baking soda, baking powder, and salt and set aside.

In another large bowl, whisk together the sugar, oil, egg and yogurt. Add the dry ingredients reserving 1 tablespoon of the dry ingredients and toss with the chocolate chunks. Stir mixture for a count of 10. Add 1 cup chocolate chunks to mixture and stir 3 more times. Reserve the 1/2 cup of chocolate chunks.

Using a #20 ice cream scoop, add the mixture to greased muffin pans. Sprinkle the remaining 1/2 cup of chunks on top of muffins and press down lightly. Place into the oven and increase the temperature to 400 degrees. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes, rotating pan halfway through. Remove from oven and turn out, upside down on tea towel to cool completely. Serve immediately or store in airtight container for 2 to 3 days.

Based on a recipe originally aired on Good Eats on Food TV.

This is a really, really simple soup but it tastes excellent! You need a blender or a food processor though.

Ingredients:

A 1-pound bag of baby carrots (cause I'm lazy, but you can use a pound of cleaned, peeled large carrots as well)
1 red onion (I'd recommend you not substitute with white onion, the taste is so much better)
2 celery stalks
1 large potato
1 cup 15% cream
Chicken stock
Olive oil
Lotsa pepper!

1. Drizzle olive the bottom of a large pan and turn heat to medium. Basically, I lightly sautee the veggies before adding the stock. Start by chopping up the onion, as they'll start to caramelize and release all sorts of flavour goodness.

2. Start adding the carrots. The reason I like using a whole bag of baby carrots is that they're pre-peeled and measured. Chopping them up will reduce cooking time, so chop away until the bag is done, adding them to the onion as you go along. Don't forget to stir veggies once in a while you're chopping and adding carrots :)

3. Chop the celery and add it to the mix.

4. Peel and chop the potato, add it to the mix.

5. Add chicken stock, enough to cover all the veggies. If you don't have enough stock, you can use water instead. The soup is a tad less rich in flavour, but it's still quite good. I'm not fond of them, but you can use bouillon cubes as well.

Turn up the heat until the liquid is at a heavy simmer and leave until the carrots are tender, about 15-20 minutes. Dump everything in a blender or food processor (careful, it's hot!) and pulse blend until smooth. Add the cream and blend for 30 seconds until well mixed.

Return the soup to the pan, add salt and lots of pepper (to taste, actually, but this soup is best when very peppery. If you used bouillon cubes, careful with the salt, those things tend to be salty in advance).Serve immediately.

Serves 4. Any leftovers can be kept in the fridge for a few days. This soup actually freezes quite well if you want to make it in batches and thaw it later on.

Comments:

1. Instead of carrots, you can use 4-5 large leeks, cleaned and chopped, to make a cream of leek soup. The methodology is exactly the same. I've never tried it, but I figure you could use this recipe for any cream of vegetable, like broccoli, cauliflower, pumpkin or mushroom. Just remember the color of the veggies you're adding. Carrots will make this soup a vivid orange. Broccoli would be a bright green. Adding both would make a rather unappetizing brown, but my feeling is that it would taste good :D

2. For heart-smart people, the cream can be replaced with milk (that's what I do, actually). Cream does make the soup feel richer, but it's also bad on the arteries. I use 2% milk and the soup still feels like liquid velvet going down.

cybersex gone bad. Found it online, it's hilarious :) There was actually more, but these ones were the funniest.

So I was having cybersex the other day. It was pretty good I guess. Here it is:

bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey…
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of shit.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?

Yeah it was pretty sweet.

This one was good.

bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.
j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
j_gurli3: thats it.
bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.

This kinda sucked.

BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
eminemBNJA:Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears14: I like your music Em… Tee hee.
eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA: Oh shit
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.
eminemBNJA: Oh shit
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

Ew this chick was nasty. Yeeeeaah.

bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
Katie_007: Sure, you into vegetables?
bloodninja: What like gardening an shit?
Katie_007: Yeah, something like that.
bloodninja: Nothing turns me on more, check this out:
bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes.
(pause)
Katie_007: is that it?
bloodninja: You water your tomato patch.
bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce?
Katie_007: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables… Can you make it a little more sexy for me?
(pause)
bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach… sexily.
bloodninja: I ride your buttocks like they were amber waves of grains.
Katie_007: Grain doesn't really turn me on… I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.
bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
bloodninja: Damn baby you're right, this shit is HOTT.
Katie_007: …
bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
Katie_007: What the f*ck is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
bloodninja: Yeah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch.
Katie_007: whatever.

I was at the office today, when a bored friend of mine sent me a paragraph she'd written and wanted me to continue the story. We went back and forth a few times in the afternoon, and this is what we came up with. Want to join in?

Edit: Hyde_grrl is in red, I'm in blue:

“So there I was, alone and desperate in the world, in this office. Its
bare walls and yellow light made its sole occupant breath heavy like a
claustrophobic rat trapped in some rat sized elevator stuck between
floors. Only there was no elevator music, just the hum of 3 bad Compaq
Evo's and the voice of a calm mad man. Maniacal mad man. Was he sent
here to kill me? One answer came to mind, over and over: I'm too pretty
for this. I'm too pretty for this. I'm too *hack*…The mad man WAS
sent here to kill me. “Oh look, there I am”. There I was.”

… I round-filed the manuscript without even a backward glance.
Swoosh. At least this one was typed on an honest to goodness
typewriter. As an entry-level copy editor, I'd seen my share of weird
submissions. My favourite to date was the one written in cherry-scented
crayola crayon. I still had it tucked in a file somewhere. I took it
out once in a while when I needed a good laugh.

So here I was, pushing 30, spending most of my waking hours sitting in
a chair that made my back hurt, in front of a coffee-stained desk that
was groaning under the weight of the dreams of others. My job? To crush
those dreams, in most cases. I'm the first hurdle towards publication.
I'm the bastard that passes judgment on the first book you dare to
send; the novel that's going to be your big break. Or not. It's a dirty
job, but somebody needs to do it.

I pried my desk drawer open and ruffled through the half empty bottles of
hand cream, chocolate bar wrappers and cigarette butts to find my nail file.
“Good grief, is this where I left that sandwich?” I thought as I picked out
the pink nail file amongst the clutter, took a deep breath and leaned back.
A good nail file is hard to find. A good nail file could save your life.
Sure, it could pick desk drawer locks or act as a weapon to gouge out the
judging eyes of my boss. A good policy is to keep a nail file in your desk
drawer, just in case of emergency. A sandwich however, is something you
should never keep there. I picked the questionable item up between two
manicured fingers and ever so gently carried it over to my colleague's desk.
He'll eat it. James will eat anything.

Careful….Careful….*click* Not a scratch! The desk drawer slid open. “And
what have we here?” …

A desk drawer can reveal a lot about a person (go ahead, look in yours).
I hadn't known James all that long, except to pick up on a few about his more
original eating habits, chief among them the fact that he ate everything with
chopsticks and the fact that he'd never found a meal he didn't like. He was a
bottomless pit, but you couldn't fathom it by looking at him. The bastard. Ever
since he moved into my office, it was getting really hard to concentrate on
trashing…ahem… evaluating the manuscipts. He was nice eye candy, and
damn it, he smelled good too.

So, the drawer. Office supplies, all neatly organized, some loose change. Nothing too
exciting. A digital watch on a sports band… must be for when he hits the
gym after work. Toothpaste, toothbrush and dental floss… geez, what a boy
scout. Oooh, paydirt. This is interesting. I wonder who the blonde in the
picture is. She's cute. A girlfriend, maybe? Nice sailboat though.

I had drinks with eniran last night at Hurleys before we went to see Kill Bill vol. 2 with her friend Mel. Whoah, she's hot :) Movie was pretty good. Really different from the first one and the ending left me feeling meh, but it was still a good movie and I'm glad to have seen it (even if the texas funeral scene did give me a nightmare, as I expected).

Today is a pretty slow day. Had lunch with an old coworker from CGI with whom I got along really well, so that was fun. I also got a call from my broker regarding an investment loan for which the paperwork got mangled somewhere along the way, so I had to pay an outstanding balance kind of right now. Bleh. I have the money, but it's not what I'd planned to do with it. Anyway, that's all settled, so things should go smoothly from now on.

I can't wait for the weekend. My plans got changed for various reasons, so now I'm going to my favourite (yet really expensive) bar with eniran, her girl and Michel :) Can't wait, it's going to be fuuuuuuuuuuuuun :D

Ok, I apologize in advance that this recipe doesn't really have any set quantities, but it's uber simple and I've yet to see anybody mangle it.

This sauce is really quick to cook, so prepare your pasta beforehand. I'd recommend a large pasta, like penne or linguine.

Ingredients:

450g Boneless skinless chicken breast
4-5 large mushrooms, cut in slices
2 shallots, sliced
freshly grated parmesan cheese^†
1 cup 15% cooking cream
2 tbsp olive oil
salt and pepper

1. cut chicken breast into small cubes and brown in olive oil over medium heat. Add mushrooms. Cook until chicken is no longer pink inside (about 4-5 minutes)

2. Add cream, parmesan and shallots. Bring to a simmer and let sauce thicken. (This is where you have to get a bit of a feel for it, but it's hard to really kill this sauce. You want the sauce to be thick enough to coat the noodles, but it shouldn't be clumpy. if the sauce is too runny, add more cheese. If it's too thick, just cut it with a bit of milk)

3. Toss pasta in sauce and serve immediately.

Now a real carbonara sauce uses pancetta (italian bacon), but the mix of bacon, cream and cheese is too much of a heart-attack special for me :) If you want to use bacon, cook it and drain off the grease before adding the mushrooms, but basically proceed normally for the rest.

&dagger: I strongly recommend getting a block of parmesan and grating it when you need it. It'll keep for a long time wrapped in saran wrap and the taste is worth the effort required to grate it. If you feel lazy, you can get the pre-grated stuff in the cheese counter of your grocery store. For god's sake, please don't use kraft or canned stuff you've had lying around forever :)

I was thinking about this in the shower this morning. When the whole Erin thing went sour, I got a big outpouring of good vibes from you, my friends. From offers of kneecapping, to tales of probable flatulence and excessive body hair problems, it really made me feel better, and I wanted to thank you all for it :)

Sleeman Breweries Ltd. of Guelph, Ont., will pay $36.5 million for Chambly-based craft brewer and Quebec competitor Unibroue Inc., the two companies announced yesterday. The price includes $5.5 million in Unibroue debt.

The deal gives Sleeman much-needed brewing capacity, an instant chunk of the Quebec micro-brewery market, and a prospering distribution channel into the U.S. market to add to Sleeman's own efforts there, analysts said. It's also expected to add about $5 million to Sleeman's operating profits next year, consolidating Sleeman's position as Canada's third-largest brewer behind giants Molson and Labatt.