Tag: dilbert
The best bug is a critical bug
Peel the layer. Blockchain. Responsive design. Break the paradigm…
Lazy or wise?
I’m a scrumbag!
The Red File
Why aren’t you done yet?
Because it only takes 2 weeks to do anything when you don’t understand what it is you’re doing.
Optimize for happiness
A pessimist is someone who’s listened to one too many optimists
A pessimist is a man who tells the truth prematurely. – Cyrano de Bergerac
Don’t ever become a pessimist… a pessimist is correct oftener than an optimist, but an optimist has more fun, and neither can stop the march of events. – Robert A. Heinlein
Tradition
Just because you’ve always done it that way doesn’t mean it’s not incredibly stupid.
Believe in Yourself
Because the rest of us think you’re an idiot.
Meetings
None of us is as dumb as all of us.
Idiocy
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
Consistency
It’s only a virtue if you’re not a screwup.
No more arbitrary deadlines!
True story:
– Do a comprehensive evaluation of all the tools that do [A TASK]. I need it by 5pm tonight.
– Ok, what tools to you want me to focus on?
– All of them.
– Ooookaayy, what are the evaluation criteria?
– All of them.
– I’m in meetings all morning and this afternoon. You want this in 2 hours if I don’t have a lunch break?
– Well, by lunchtime tomorrow is ok.