Tag: god save the queen

Vote early, vote often!

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MPs voted by 438 to 20 to have a pre-Christmas election in what is expected to be the most unpredictable contest in a generation.

After Johnson failed to take the UK out of the EU on October 31 as promised, the major battle line will be drawn along on the subject of Brexit. Sadly, he didn’t die in a ditch. Yet another promise that wasn’t upheld.

The Conservatives will campaign to get Brexit done by pushing through Johnson’s deal, while Labour is promising a second referendum to let the people resolve the EU question.

The Brexit party will try to outgun the Tories by arguing for a no deal Brexit, while the Liberal Democrats will seek remain votes from Labour by pledging to revoke article 50.

God knows how the vote will be split once everything is tallied.

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Mongrels re-watch

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Katy and I started rewatching Mongrels, a show that actually made it past the BBC stiff necks in 2010. I’d forgotten just how much I loved it the first time around. Especially Kali the pigeon.

—————

Nelson:
How was the funeral?

Kali:
I masqueraded as a dead man, partially blinded a child and caused a clergyman to question his faith in Christianity.

Marion:
How was the buffet?

Kali:
Was adequate.

—————

Kali:
If I wanted to be permanently attached to a needy, accident-prone cretin, I’d move back into my old nest. (cut to Ame Winehouse singing ‘Valerie’ on stage with Kali poking out of her hairdo, talking on a mobile phone) Hello? Is that the council? I’d like to complain about the woman living under me! Why? Because she’s a donkey-faced crack skank! Alright, I’ll hold.

—————

Kali:
A Thai bride and some Genesis. I’m trying to lure Harry Hill.

Thai Bride:
Come on baby, me love you long time.

Harry Hill:
I could’ve sworn I heard Genesis…

Kali:
Oh God, Kali! Improvise, improvise, improvise, improvise, improvise, improvise, ooh, World War II stick grenade!
(Kali throws grenade; everyone ducks as there’s a huge explosion; Harry Hill’s clothes fall on top of them)

Marion:
So, Harry Hill… brown bin or blue bin?

All:
Brown bin…

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Everything you can imagine, in a tin

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My dad would be in canned food heaven right now. We went grocery shopping in France, and it’s always astonishing to see how different the choices are. In this picture, you’ll notice tins of:

  • Canard mitonné
  • Blanquette de veau
  • Lapin rôti à la moutarde
  • Tartiflette
  • Choucroute garnie
  • Cassoulet
  • Poulet basquaise
  • Boeuf bourguignon

Now, of course, it will never compare to the British pie-in-a-tin experience we gave him once, but I did make note of a few things to send back to him when my mom comes.

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Unorthodox candidates in the British election capture the attention of election-watchers

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Among those to have raised the most eyebrows is Lord Buckethead, who appeared alongside Theresa May on the podium as results were read out for the Maidenhead constituency. Buckethead, a self-described “intergalactic space lord” whose real name is unknown, won 249 votes in the Berkshire contest. It is not the first time Buckethead has stood against a prime minister – a candidate with the same name took on Margaret Thatcher in 1987 and lost with just 131 votes. He also stood against John Major in 1992. This time around, Buckethead campaigned on a platform of strong but “not entirely stable leadership” and describes himself as enjoying planet-conquering, dominating inferior species, and Lovejoy. His manifesto, he declared after the results had been confirmed, delivered him a “new Buckethead record”. Buckethead’s reappearance on the political scene did not go unnoticed.

While most British people are used to a varied range of candidates, mostly due to the advent of the oddball Monster Raving Loony party, election watchers from further afield were fascinated. Away from Maidenhead, the leader of the Liberal Democrats, Tim Farron, had to contend with an unusual opponent in Cumbria’s Westmorland and Lonsdale. Farron held on to his seat with a reduced majority of 777. Adding insult to injury, he was upstaged during his victory speech by Mr Fishfinger, a man dressed as a piece of frozen food. Fishfinger, who changed his name by deed poll to take part in the election, decided to run after an informal Twitter poll found users would rather be led by a fish finger than Farron. He got 309 votes.

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I won’t be able to vote. 

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Katy and I both registered for overseas postal ballots for the upcoming UK general election. It’s no secret that I’m completely fed up with the current Tory muppets and I was really looking forward to being able to do my civic duty. Unfortunately, my ballot got lost in the post. We received Katy’s ballot and got it sent back in time. However, even if I get mine tomorrow, it needs to be received at the electoral office in Saffron Walden by 10pm on the day of the election. Two days from now. Ain’t going to happen. 

So, UK peeps, go vote. Even if you’re planning on voting for Tory muppet scum, go vote. It’s your right, and your responsibility, as a citizen. 

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Banksy on Brexit

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A Brexit-inspired mural by Banksy showing a metalworker chipping away at a star on the EU flag has appeared in Dover. The artwork emerged overnight on the Castle Amusements building near the ferry terminal, which connects the UK with mainland Europe. The mural, which was confirmed by Banksy’s representatives to be a genuine work by the elusive artist, is his first comment on the Brexit vote last year. The stars of the flag “stand for the ideals of unity, solidarity and harmony among the peoples of Europe”, according to the EU website. The mural has appeared at a difficult time, when Brexit and the increasingly frosty relationship between Theresa May’s government and the EU over negotiations on Britain’s departure have become central to the general election on 8 June. The Dover artwork is across the Channel from Calais, where a Banksy mural appeared at the main refugee camp in 2015, showing the Apple founder, Steve Jobs, whose biological father was a Syrian immigrant.

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Britain has lost the plot. 

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Since when is it OK to have Easter chocolate in stores in December? Easter is 4 months away. We haven’t celebrated bloody new year’s yet!

Also, since when do you need tactical squad policemen with machine guns patrolling in a Leicester shopping centre?? 

Edit: So, apparently, this was planned and reported on.

Armed police to patrol busy places in Leicestershire after terror attacks in Berlin and Turkey.

Armed police officers are to patrol crowded places in Leicestershire over the Christmas period following several terrorist attacks in Europe.

The operation, which began at 7am this morning and will run until lunchtime on January 3, 2017, aims to minimise the risk to the public from a terrorist attack and provide people with a greater sense of reassurance.

A police spokeswoman said an assessment of the threat from international terrorism has not changed and remains classified as “severe”, and there is no specific information or intelligence which suggests an attack in the United Kingdom is imminent.

Chief Superintendent Ian Howick, said: “Far from alarming the public, the purpose of this change in approach is to achieve precisely the opposite – to provide greater reassurance.

“There is no specific threat to the East Midlands, but recent events elsewhere in the world have led to a change in what the public in Britain expect and want from their local police. The purpose of this change is to further minimise the risk to public and staff in and around crowded / busy public places from a terrorist attack, and to provide the public with a greater sense of reassurance by increasing our visible presence.”

So, security theatre, then.

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