Tag: news from the stupid

Invitations were a bar of chocolate with a bespoke printed wrapper and a golden ticket inside. Every seven-year-old in the country was desperate to receive one. Those who did not were inconsolable.

On the day itself, the lucky few were brought up the drive of the Gloucester stately home in candy-coloured golfcarts. Inside the circus tent on the back lawn was an acrobatic Willy Wonka and his troupe of oompa-loompas, who performed every half-hour.

'There were three chocolate fountains, one with marshmallows, one with strawberries and one with biscuits,' said Caroline Hurley, director of Quintessentially Events, who organised the party earlier this month. 'We also installed a giant gobstopper pond as well as circus games, a miniature bumper-car track and a carousel.'

Parents were plied with champagne and canapes, and each of the 30 children was given a party bag bulging with sweets before they left. The total cost of the party was £20,000.

Children's birthday parties once meant a slice of cake, a bowl of jelly and a quick game of pass-the-parcel at someone's house. Now parties are more of an annual exam for parents. 'Children's parties have become the acme of competitive parenting,' said Hurley. 'It's not unusual for 60 children to be invited and the cost to reach £50,000.'

According to recent research by sweet-maker Haribo, even the average family forks out £129 for their little one's special day. Flora White, of Concierge London, regularly sees parents spend far more. 'We have organised children's parties costing £250,000,' she said. 'We've held football tournaments where the “coaches” were well-known footballers. We also flew a West End musical star across Europe to sing “Happy Birthday” to a 13-year-old girl.'

The BBC is dedicating a new six-part series to this phenomenon: on Tuesday evening The Madness of Modern Parenting looks at how even the most sensible parent gets sucked in.

According to Illana Salem, whose sons Sammy and Louis are 10 and seven years old: 'It's like the speech day of parenting: it's your moment to shine, to prove what a fabulous parent you are. It's the moment when you're judged. I suppose it's like a dog show.' Besides finding the perfect venue, parents have to decide who to invite, which entertainers to book and what food to serve. 'Proper children's party food is full of E numbers and illegal colourants. But junk is bad; the food of hoodies,' said Salem.

In all this, the children themselves are often forgotten. 'We were invited to a party and it was so much about impressing the parents that the kids got forgotten completely,' said Jo Haywood, who lives in York with her seven-year-old son Jack and daughter Mia, aged three. 'There was no food for the children at all. At three o'clock we left and went to a Little Chef.'

And what of the entertainment? Stephen Rowlings, who runs exotic animal company Tropical Inc, said he believed competitive parenting was at the heart of the surge in demand his company has seen. 'In the last two years, I have gone from doing no children's parties to doing eight every weekend,' he said. 'Parents are desperate to throw the biggest and grandest parties.'

And when it seems to be all over, there is the final test: the party bag. 'That is how the other parents are going to judge you,' said Haywood. 'In that one tiny bag they are going to form a picture of your whole lifestyle.' On www.mumsnet.com, entire conversation threads are dedicated to this thorny issue. 'My two went to a party where everyone got sent home with a goldfish!', one wrote.

The only way to resist the temptation to compete is, it seems, not to throw a party at all. 'We've done the fairy party, the bouncy-castle party, the pottery party, bowling party, disco party and the Brighton Pier party,' said Gina Deferrer, whose daughters Olivia and Isabelle are 12 and nine. 'Then last year I thought, “I really can't cope – we're going to go abroad!” So, yes, we went to France just to get out of doing a birthday party.'

From the London Telegraph. Emphasis mine. I love how they actually have to spell these things out. A big victory for common sense :)

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A quiet word to loud Americans

LOUD and brash, in gawdy garb and baseball caps, shuffling between tourist sites or preparing to negotiate a business deal, they bemoan the failings of the world outside the United States.

The reputation of the ugly American abroad is not just some cruel stereotype. Rather, says the United States Government, it is worryingly accurate. Now the State Department in Washington has joined forces with US industry to plan an image makeover by issuing guides on how to behave for Americans travelling overseas.

Under a program starting next month, several big US companies will give employees going abroad a “world citizen's guide” featuring 16 etiquette tips on how they can help improve their country's battered international image.

Business for Diplomatic Action, a non-profit group funded by large US companies, has met State Department officials to discuss issuing the guide with every newly issued American passport. The guide offers a series of “simple suggestions” under the slogan, “Help your country while you travel for your company”.

The guide advises Americans to not just talk but to listen; to discuss and argue but not to be didactic, and not to foist a US world view on others.

The head of Business for Diplomatic Action, Keith Reinhard, said: “Surveys consistently show that Americans are viewed as arrogant, insensitive, over-materialistic and ignorant about local values. That, in short, is the image of the ugly American abroad and we want to change it.”

The guide also offers tips on the dangers of dressing too casually, and the pluses of learning a few words of the local language, using hand gestures and even map reading. Business for Diplomatic Action has distributed 200,000 passport-sized guides tailored to students.

RED ALERTS FOR TRAVEL

From the guidelines:

Think as big as you like but talk and act smaller In many countries, any form of boasting is considered very rude. Talking about wealth, power or status – corporate or personal – can create resentment.

Listen at least as much as you talk By all means, talk about America and your life in our country. But also ask people you're visiting about themselves and their way of life.

Save the lectures for your kids Whatever your subject of discussion, let it be a discussion not a lecture. Justified or not, the US is seen as imposing its will on the world.

Think a little locally Try to find a few topics that are important in the local popular culture. Remember, most people in the world have little or no interest in the World Series or the Super Bowl. What we call “soccer” is football everywhere else. And it's the most popular sport on the planet.

Slow down We talk fast, eat fast, move fast, live fast. Many cultures do not.

Speak lower and slower A loud voice is often perceived as bragging. A fast talker can be seen as aggressive.

Your religion is your religion and not necessarily theirs Religion is usually considered deeply personal, not a subject for public discussions.

If you talk politics, talk – don't argue Steer clear of arguments about American politics, even if someone is attacking US politicians or policies. Agree to disagree.

WASHINGTON (AP) — The Selective Service System is making plans to test its draft machinery in case Congress and President Bush need it, even though the White House says it doesn't want to bring back the draft.

The service's director for operations and chief information officer, cautioned that the “readiness exercise” does not mean the agency is gearing up to resume the draft. “We're kind of like a fire extinguisher. We sit on a shelf,” Campbell told The Associated Press. “Unless the president and Congress get together and say, 'Turn the machine on' … we're still on the shelf.”

And a nice bit of spin control further down the article:

Veterans Affairs Secretary Jim Nicholson prompted speculation about the draft Thursday when he told reporters in New York that “society would benefit” if the U.S. were to bring back the draft. Later he issued a statement saying he does not support reinstituting a draft.

That fits in quite nicely with recent news that the US is thinking of granting citizenship to immigrants who join the army/navy/airforce. If you don't get killed in some useless political exercise that should never have been started in the first place, you get a green card. Sign me up, boyo… NOT!

Children are taught pole dancing

A Northumberland fitness instructor has defended plans to teach children as young as 12 how to pole dance. Laraine Riddell will start classes in the New Year at a gym in Choppington, in which boys and girls will be taught to spin up and down on a pole.

Ms Riddell insists the classes are nothing but good exercise for children who are at risk of obesity. But the children's charity Kidscape, said pole dancing was traditionally linked to erotic acts in clubs.

Ms Liddell said she wanted to distance her classes from images of naked women dancing for money in nightclubs.

'Fantastic feeling'

She said she had the support of parents who welcomed the classes.

Ms Riddell said: “This is a good way of tackling obesity. It is dancing and it is fun and gives you a fantastic feeling. “I have seen the joy in the faces of children who are holding their body strength up, doing the splits, spinning round and upside down. “The children don't come in with thoughts of strip clubs in their minds.”

But Michele Elliott, director of Kidscape, said the classes were “out of order”.

She said: “Pole dancing is traditionally an activity where women on stage are given money which is stuck in their underwear.

“To teach 12-year-old girls pole dancing is out of order. I am sure pole dancing is good exercise – but so is stripping. After all, strippers have great bodies.

“By all means give the kids exercise, but just skip the poles.”

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As a related bit of news, Tesco recently removed a home pole-dancing kit for kids from their xmas toy shelves because of public pressure. Spoilsports :)

A Russian woman who drank up to 5 000 litres of Coca Cola has successfully sued the company for making her ill. Natalya Kashuba, 27, the owner of an upmarket clothes shop, drank up to three litres of the soft drink every day for five years. She took legal action against the soft drinks giant after claiming that she had suffered insomnia and heartburn, reports the Telegraph.

Miss Kashuba said she had become addicted to the drink as a result of a promotional offer that allowed consumers to swap Coca Cola caps for prizes. Dozens of inflatable mattresses and radios she won were used as key evidence in the case.

“In October 2005, as a result of an examination by a gastroenterologist, she was diagnosed with a chronic condition whose main symptom is heart burn,” her lawyer, Alexey Monakhov, said.

In a landmark ruling, two Russian courts agreed that Coca Cola had failed to warn of the potential health risks of drinking too much Coke and awarded Miss Kashuba

Though the sum in itself is derisory, Miss Kashuba's victory is unprecedented and could, lawyers predict, prompt an avalanche of similar suits.

Miss Kashuba herself is seeking a further from Coca Cola in “moral damages”. – Ananova.com

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So what do you know. Drinking 5000 liters of coke will make you wired and give you heartburn. Well fucking DUH!

HUGE numbers of British women admit to feeling sex-starved — and they blame the grind of doing the housework for their lack of nookie. Researchers found 35 per cent said they were too tired to enjoy sex because they were expected to do all the cooking, washing and cleaning.

Nearly half of the women surveyed revealed that in an average week they spend six hours doing chores but less than 15 minutes having sex. But they are more likely than ever to have careers — with 75 per cent in work, according to figures from entertainment company Buena Vista.

Writer and housework expert Rita Konig said: “Women are juggling so much something has to give — and it appears that it’s sex that suffers.”

Another hard-hitting article from The Sun…

Pop singer Britney Spears' estranged hubby Kevin “Cletus” Federline has reportedly threatened to go public with the couples honeymoon sex tapes if she fails to make a hefty payout to him and hand custody of their two sons.

Britney fears the raunchy footage will destroy her wholesome image unless she caves in to his demands for a £16million payoff and custody of their children Sean Preston, one, and Jayden James, eight weeks.

…Gotta love trailer trash.

Velcro president faces final test
By Matt Frei
BBC News, Washington

“All politics is local,” according to a tried-and-true Washington cliche. But surely Tuesday's mid-term elections are first and foremost a referendum on George W Bush.

If Ronald Reagan was the Teflon president, to whom nothing seemed to stick, W has become the Velcro president, to whom just about everything sticks. Call it the price of decisive leadership.

Only a day before the elections, George Bush was campaigning in Pensacola, Florida – the state his own brother has governed with resounding success – and the Republican hoping to succeed Jeb Bush did not turn up to appear with the president.

The only TV ads that feature the commander-in-chief have been those fielded by his opponents. The only states where the president, who is a fabulous campaigner, has been allowed to exercise his sleeveless charm on the voters are those places where the audiences already love him, like Kansas.

Either the White House has been asked to stay away, or it has been trying to plug holes which have suddenly sprung up in places where they never thought they would have to spend time or money.

'Political capital

The president's second term was not supposed to be like this. The day after his victory over John Kerry, with the president's Grand Old Party in firm control of Congress, an energetic George Bush announced he had “earned political capital and intended to spend it”.

The president broke open his political piggy bank in an effort to overhaul social security, the state pensions system.

Reform may have been a good idea, even necessary, but the attempt to secure it was a disaster. Within months, the president's hard-to-understand plan was gathering dust on a shelf.

And greater setbacks and indignities loomed, costing whatever pennies of political capital Mr Bush had salvaged from the social security debacle.

Hurricane Katrina produced shocking levels of devastation that were surpassed only by mind-boggling incompetence from government at every level.

And then there was the corruption – financial and, apparently, sexual. The Republican enforcer in the House, Tom “the Hammer” DeLay, was forced out of office. At least three other Republican congressmen came under one investigation or another. One is already in jail and another seems headed that way.

Add Mark Foley, the Florida Republican who sent lascivious e-mails and instant messages to teenage Congressional pages, and you have the making of a Velcro presidency.

Crumbling keystone

The bad news has left the GOP in a bad mood – this campaign has been conspicuous for the amount of back-biting within Republican ranks.

Social conservatives are angry that the president hasn't done more to advance moral crusades like his proposed amendment to ban gay marriage.

Fiscal conservatives are livid about pork-barrel spending in Congress, $250m “bridges to nowhere” and a budget deficit of truly blushing proportions.

Neo-conservatives like Richard Perle and Ken Adelman are, it seems, now apoplectic about the way Iraq was mismanaged and how their dream of creating a democracy in the heart of the Middle East was botched by the administration's stinginess with troops and resources.

If the administration is an arch, Iraq has been the crumbling keystone.

The drip-drip of daily casualties, the spectre of civil war, the aching sense of helplessness has sapped the administration's confidence and the voters' goodwill.

The Democrats should have the most to gain, but they are caught in the headlights of Iraq, much like the rest of the nation.

Their biggest problem is that they don't have a plan. The Republicans' biggest problem is that the Democrats may not need one – they have been taking the advice of the late brass-knuckled Republican strategist Lee Atwater: “If your opponent is busy shooting himself, don't get in the way!”

Although the entire country is electing representatives on Tuesday, and a third of states are choosing senators, control of the legislature will come down to about seven Senate races and perhaps 25 House seats out of 435.

Nationally, the race has become a battle between the Democrats' anger and the Republicans' organisation.

Triangulator

The latest polling data suggests that the gap between the two parties has been narrowing. After months of solid leads for the Democrats, as the clock ticks down, more Republicans may feel suitably energised, alarmed or guilty to get off their sofas and vote.

From automated “robo-calls” designed to annoy the other party's voters to negative television campaigning, this election has become a textbook case of scraping the bottom of the election ballot box.

Republicans privately admit they expect to lose the House, but they hope to hold the Senate. That could hamstring the president, leaving him a quacking lame duck.

But remember divided government is the norm in the US. In the last century the president has had an opposition Congress twice as often as a sympathetic one. That need not prevent a president from getting things done.

Bill Clinton passed his ground-breaking welfare reform two years after the shock of a Republican tsunami – he learnt how to work with Congress and that made him a better president.

Can George Bush, the conviction politician, become a Clintonian triangulator in his last two years of office?

Some doubt it. And yet it may be in his best interest. After all, the Republican Congress has not done George Bush any particular favours in the past two years.

Story from BBC NEWS:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/1/hi/world/americas/6123314.stm

You've all heard of pimping your ride. This is the next fad, apparently.

 
http://www.pierceyourride.com/

I just hope it goes the way of the bumper nuts and die a quick and painful death.