I didn’t post yesterday, for I was blue, and didn’t have anything constructive or funny to say.
Tag: potd2014
Ditchtheoldbag… Seriously, clipper?
The best jokes from young people around the world
According to the Guardian:
Germany
Two planets meet. The first asks: “So, how are you?”
The second answers: “Well, I’m sick, I’ve got Homo Sapiens.”
The first replies: “Oh, I know that one. No worries, it’ll pass.”
Brazil
Do you know the joke of “no me neither”?
No.
Me neither.
Denmark
Here in England, I learned a new word: chubbychaser. As a fat person, I find that hilarious. Look, there’s never a need for a chase. I don’t run.
Finland
Which traffic sign allows you to make a U-turn on a highway in Finland?
You are approaching the Russian border.
Spain
A man enters a store and says: “15 litres of wine please.”
“Did you bring a container for this? ”
“You’re speaking to it.”
Greece
Three men are sentenced to death in a faraway country: an Englishman, a Frenchman and a Cypriot. On execution day they are asked to name their last wish. The Englishman asks for a cigar. The Frenchman a glass of wine. The Cypriot asks to be granted a last opportunity to talk to the execution squad about the Cyprus problem. On hearing this, the Frenchman and Englishman change their last wishes and beg to be shot before the Cypriot starts talking.
Israel
A Polish Jewish woman gets up mid-flight to the US and shouts: “Is there is a doctor here?” A nice, serious guy approaches her quickly and tells her: “I am. What is the problem?” She replies: “Do you want to meet my daughter?”
Norway
Two whales are sitting at a bar. One of them suddenly says: “Mmmwaamm!”
The second whale looks over and and says: “Holy shit, you’re fucking drunk.”
Setting up the garcony… or is that the balcorden
We astroturfed the balcony :-) it actually feels reeeeaaaaallly nice. And we have an apple tree, and flowers (orange, of course) and owls, and foo dogs, and the beginning of some veg boxes. Next step is to get a gas bottle for the BBC.
Not cool, Android. Not cool.
I had a notification of an OTA upgrade to Android KitKat for my phone. Yay, thinks I. I run the installer, everything goes well, until I notice that half of my apps have been quietly uninstalled. WTF??
Happy St-Paddy’s day
Sunny, lazy Sunday afternoon
Sitting on the beach right now, watching Bean making sandcastles, hoping he doesn’t get eaten by a swan, hearing other exasperated parents saying things like don’t throw rocks at the swans, leave that boy’s castle alone, you’re getting on my nerves… Not just me :-)
I keep saying things like she didn’t mean to, stop throwing sand, there’s enough beach for everybody…
Gorgeous weather though.
Edit
More pictures put online here: https://www.flubu.com/blog/pictures/morges_mar_2014/
Rule 34 strikes again
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Lies programmers tell themselves
“I don’t need to comment this, I’ll know what’s going on. I wrote it for god’s sake.”
“No one could possibly fail to understand my simple user interface”
“I’ll remember what I did here without adding a comment to explain it.”
“Code is self documenting.”
“This bug won’t take too long to fix”
“I can do this easy. It should take like what? 2 hours max?”
“There is just one more bug, then it wil be fixed.”
“5 more minutes and I can go home.”
“My homebrew framework will be nimble, lightweight, debugged, and easy to use.”
“My own parser will do fine.”
“I know this is dirty code, I will rewrite it later.”
“We’ll fix this in a later release.”
“I’ll come back and comment this later”
“This bug can be ignored for now”
“I’ll refactor this before I release it.”
“That is going to be a simple minor change..”
“It’s just one line… it won’t break anything”
“This should never happen”
“This minor unrelated change in the code could not possibly be the cause for the unit tests failing.”
“It works on my machine”
“It’s not a bug, it’s a feature!”
“if it compiles, it must be correct!”
“If it passes tests, it must be correct.”
“It works”
“I can skip design and architecture and leap right into coding.”
“I totally understand that legacy code!”
“I know what the client wants.”
“I don’t need version control.”
“I know what I’m doing.”
“It’s a simple one-line change, we don’t need to test it.”
“If it’s written in C, it will be fast.”
“It’s written in Python, so it’s easy to extend.”
“Java runs everywhere.”
So, so, sooooo true!
This is Bean to a T, usually followed by “that was so cool! I’m so clever, aren’t I ?” An alternative is “I’m alright, no blood.”
Oy.