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Tag: random shit

La nuit des épouvantails 

Posted on September 29, 2018October 3, 2018 By admin

Au départ il y a une légende,
Celle de l’épouvantail,
Que certains prétendent,
N’être qu’une cassibraille.

Elle fut trouvée par hasard,
Dans le galetas du château.
Elle raconte l’histoire bizarre
De quelques épouvantaux.

Ils furent donnés aux vignerons,
Par Amédée beau garçon,
Notre Bon Comte de Savoie,
Bienveillant de surcroît.

Qui… écoutez bien camarades !
Pour protéger le raisin des oiseaux,
Imagina cette parade,
Pour apeurer les étourneaux.

Obligés de sa bonté,
Promesse fut faite,
Par les vignerons du comté,
De s’acquitter d’une dette.

Il fut solennellement décrété,
Que vendanges ce faisant,
Le meilleur raisin sera porté,
A Amédée le bienveillant.

Mais la vendange fut si belle,
Que les vignerons en kermesse,
Dans des bacchanales continuelles,
Finirent par oublier la promesse.

Amédée fâché garda rancoeur.
Jurant, qu’on ne l’y reprendra plus.
L’année suivante à la même heure,
Sur les épouvantails… jeta son dévolu.

Les ayant tous ensorcelés,
Non content de faire peur aux oiseaux,
Ils se mirent à gesticuler,
Pour épouérer les badauds.

Impossible de pénétrer dans les vignes!
Tous enfermer dans leur maison,
Les vignerons ont la déprime.
Le raisin? Comment ils le cueilleront?

Alors l’Amédée dit aux malandrins,
Vous n’avez qu’à tenir votre promesse,
Apportez-moi vos plus beaux raisins,
Je vous sortirai de la détresse.

Ainsi vit-on venir de partout,
Des brantes pleines et des vignolants,
Converger dans un grand raout,
Vers le petit bourg de Denens.

Ils partirent en cortège,
Avec tambours et accordéons,
Louant Dieu, qu’il les protège,
Dans leur acte de rémission.

Ils descendirent par vignes et par champs,
Jusqu’à Chigny où il y eu bombance,
Les paysannes ayant pris le temps,
De mitonner victuailles en abondance

Puis ils repartirent repus et joyeux,
Destination le château.
A Morges notre chef-lieu,
On a dressé des chapiteaux.

Ils arrivèrent sous les hourras
D’une foule en allégresse.
Devant Amédée… Alléluia!
Donnant le raisin, tinrent la promesse.

Alors Monseigneur reconnaissant,
Célébra… Roi de la vigne et du vin,
Celui qui, son travail maîtrisant,
Lui offrit le meilleur raisin.

Puis pointant du doigt
Un épouvantail géant,
Sentencieux… il déclara,
Voici le charlatan !!!

C’est lui le roi des épouvantails,
Vous n’avez qu’à le brûler,
Et grâce à ces funérailles
Du mauvais sort, serez libérés!

C’est alors qu’ils traînèrent le roi déchu,
A travers les rues de la ville en délire,
Torches, pétards, artifices et tohu-bohu,
Accompagnèrent à son bûcher… le martyr.

Dans un fatras indescriptible,
Le brave fini par exploser,
Sous l’effet des combustibles,
Devant la plèbe hallucinée.

Enfin libéré du sort qui leur était jeté,
Les épouvantails retrouvèrent la quiétude,
Les vendanges purent alors se dérouler.
D’un grand millésime ce fut le prélude.

This was not your average, traditional harvest festival.

Here are some of the “official” pictures from the show:

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Comptoir Suisse 2018, 2nd try

Posted on September 23, 2018September 25, 2018 By admin

Being gluttons for punishment, we went to the comptoir again. It went much better this time. The child had churros and was happy. Katy found her Spirit Cow (a real one, not a balloon one).

As a side note, that taxidermied fox is over 25 years old, and seeing dakimakura in real life is a bit creepy.

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Reason #64279644 why I love the Internet 

Posted on September 2, 2018 By admin
wpid-sad-mac-cjr.jpg
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No context for you!

Posted on August 28, 2018 By admin

Confused? It’s ok..

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Off color dad jokes

Posted on July 25, 2018August 16, 2018 By admin

The Hand has been collecting politically incorrect Dad jokes with which to better torture Katy. Some favourites so far :

What do you call lesbian twins?
Lick-a-likes.

What drives a lesbian up the wall?
A crack in the ceiling.

What’s the difference between a lesbian and a Ritz cracker?
One’s a snack cracker and the other is a crack snacker.

What do lesbians need in order to get married?
A licker license.

What do you call a lesbian sharpshooter?
A crack shot.

What do you call a lesbian Eskimo?
Klondike.

What do you call three lesbians in a closet?
A licker cabinet.

What do you call an Irish lesbian?
Gaylick.

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A Lickalotopus

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Words written in Periodic Table elements

Posted on July 19, 2018July 23, 2018 By admin

This is how my brain works.

This morning, on my way to work, I remembered a t-shirt from a TV show we’re currently binging on with the word “sarcasm” written using element symbols from the periodic table:

I then started to wondered about how I would go about finding all the words that would be written using element symbols. So when I got into work, I quickly hacked this together. Out of a starting word set of 58109 words, I find 7417 “periodic” words. The longest word, and one of several with the most component elements (13) is:

Internationalisation, elements=In,Te,Rn,At,I,O,Na,Li,S,At,I,O,N

Other amusing ones are:

Inarticulateness, elements=In,Ar,Ti,Cu,La,Te,Ne,S,S
Supersaturation, elements=S,U,P,Er,S,At,U,Ra,Ti,O,N
Consciousnesses, elements=CO,N,Sc,I,O,U,Sn,Es,Se,S
Procrastination, elements=Pr,O,Cr,As,Ti,Na,Ti,O,N
Hyperinflation, elements=H,Y,P,Er,In,F,La,Ti,O,N
Falsification, elements=F,Al,Si,F,I,Ca,Ti,O,N,S
Perniciousness, elements=P,Er,Ni,C,I,O,U,Sn,Es,S
Perambulations, elements=P,Er,Am,B,U,La,Ti,O,N,S
Pontifications, elements=Po,N,Ti,F,I,Ca,Ti,O,N,S
Hallucinations, elements=H,Al,Lu,C,In,At,I,O,N,S
Voluptuousness, elements=V,O,Lu,Pt,U,O,U,Sn,Es,S
Sensationalism, elements=Se,N,S,At,I,O,Na,Li,Sm

And many, many more.

I then added a little tweak to filter out words that use repetitions of elements, and that brings down the number of “periodic” words to 5483. In that case, the longest word, and one of several with the most component elements (10) is:

Reclassification, elements=Re,Cl,As,Si,F,I,Ca,Ti,O,N


package wordlist;

import java.io.*;
import java.util.*;

public class PeriodicWordFinder {

    private TreeSet<String> words;
    private TreeSet<String> elements;
    private ArrayList<PeriodicWord> periodicWords;

    public PeriodicWordFinder() {
        init();
    }

    private void init(){
        try{
            words = read("wordlist.txt");
            elements = new TreeSet<>(new AlphaLengthComparaator());
            elements.addAll(read("elements.txt"));
            periodicWords = new ArrayList<>();

            System.out.println("words.size() = " + words.size());
            System.out.println("elements.size() = " + elements.size());
        } catch (Exception e) {
            e.printStackTrace();
        }
    }

    private TreeSet<String> read(String fileName) throws Exception{
        TreeSet<String> retval = new TreeSet<>();
        InputStream stream = getClass().getClassLoader().getResourceAsStream(fileName);
        BufferedReader in = new BufferedReader(new InputStreamReader(stream));
        String line;
        while ((line = in.readLine()) != null){
            line = line.toUpperCase().trim();
            //no elements contain Q or J
            if (line.contains("Q") || line.contains("J")){
                continue;
            }
            retval.add(line);
        }
        in.close();
        return retval;
    }

    private void findWords(boolean onlyUniqueElements) {
        for(String word : words){
            PeriodicWord pWord = new PeriodicWord(word);
            if ( periodicWord(pWord) ){
                //if the word only contains unique instances of elements, or we don't care
                if (checkUniqueElements(pWord) || !onlyUniqueElements) {
                    System.out.println("found: " + pWord);
                    periodicWords.add(pWord);
                }
            }
        }
    }

    private boolean periodicWord(PeriodicWord word) {
        if (word.getWord().length() == 0)
            return true;

        for (String element : elements){
            if (word.getWord().startsWith(element)){
                word.getElements().add(element);
                word.setWord(word.getWord().substring(element.length()));
                return periodicWord(word);
            }
        }
        return false;
    }

    private boolean checkUniqueElements(PeriodicWord pWord) {
        //if elements are duplicated, size of hashset will be different than size of original list
        return (pWord.getElements().size() == new HashSet<>(pWord.getElements()).size());
    }


    public static void main(String[] args){
        PeriodicWordFinder ew = new PeriodicWordFinder();
        ew.findWords(true);
    }

    private class AlphaLengthComparaator implements Comparator<String>{
        @Override
        public int compare(String o1, String o2) {
            Integer l1 = o1.length();
            Integer l2 = o2.length();
            int lengthComparison = l1.compareTo(l2);
            if (lengthComparison == 0){
                return o1.compareTo(o2);
            } else {
                return l1.compareTo(l2)*-1;
            }
        }
    }

    private class PeriodicWord {

        private String word; //will get mangled during recursion
        private String initialWord; //keep track of initial word
        private ArrayList<String> elements; //will get updated during recursion

        public PeriodicWord(String word) {
            this.initialWord = word;
            this.word = word;
        }

        public void setWord(String word) {
            this.word = word;
        }

        public String getWord() {
            return word;
        }

        public ArrayList<String> getElements() {
            if (elements == null)
                elements = new ArrayList<>();
            return elements;
        }

        @Override
        public String toString() {
            return initialWord +", elements=" + String.join(",", elements);
        }
    }
}

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Design fail

Posted on July 16, 2018 By admin

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Butterflies 

Posted on July 13, 2018July 16, 2018 By admin

Schilliger have their annual-ish butterfly greenhouse.

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Someone somewhere has an interesting story

Posted on July 8, 2018July 9, 2018 By admin

On our way to drop Ben off at the train station this morning, we saw this. A shopping trolley and a bicycle. The bike was actually lying in a heap on its side. Five hours later, when we came home, it was still there, except now someone had straightened the bike. Realize though that the Migros is a good 10 minute walk away and this was left near a pretty busy roundabout. 

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Is this compliant with the travel policy? 

Posted on July 6, 2018July 9, 2018 By admin

If Roko has an accident and we all die, half the digital nutrition and health team snuffs it. 

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