Tag: random shit

According to the Guardian:

Germany
Two planets meet. The first asks: “So, how are you?”
The second answers: “Well, I’m sick, I’ve got Homo Sapiens.”
The first replies: “Oh, I know that one. No worries, it’ll pass.”

Brazil
Do you know the joke of “no me neither”?
No.
Me neither.

Denmark
Here in England, I learned a new word: chubbychaser. As a fat person, I find that hilarious. Look, there’s never a need for a chase. I don’t run.

Finland
Which traffic sign allows you to make a U-turn on a highway in Finland?
You are approaching the Russian border.

Spain
A man enters a store and says: “15 litres of wine please.”
“Did you bring a container for this? ”
“You’re speaking to it.”

Greece
Three men are sentenced to death in a faraway country: an Englishman, a Frenchman and a Cypriot. On execution day they are asked to name their last wish. The Englishman asks for a cigar. The Frenchman a glass of wine. The Cypriot asks to be granted a last opportunity to talk to the execution squad about the Cyprus problem. On hearing this, the Frenchman and Englishman change their last wishes and beg to be shot before the Cypriot starts talking.

Israel
A Polish Jewish woman gets up mid-flight to the US and shouts: “Is there is a doctor here?” A nice, serious guy approaches her quickly and tells her: “I am. What is the problem?” She replies: “Do you want to meet my daughter?”

Norway
Two whales are sitting at a bar. One of them suddenly says: “Mmmwaamm!”
The second whale looks over and and says: “Holy shit, you’re fucking drunk.”