Wonder if his name is Joseph…
Tag: random shit
Lays asks the Internet: “Please, come troll us!”
When Lay’s launched it’s #DoUsAFlavor campaign to crowd-source the next great chip variety, it was pretty much written in the stars that it would be heavily trolled by jokers on the Internet offering ridiculous (and inappropriate) suggestions.
Why can I just see Bean doing this?
Confessions d’un canard sex-toy
In his wildest dreams, Sigmund is a majestic wild duck. Alas, the Almighty has decided otherwise and made him a delicious, vibrating pleasure object. One imagines too fast a thrilling existence, made of enjoyment and pleasure … Error! Sigmund has no luck. Our little friend will then spent his life wondering what his purpose in life is. To assist in his thoughts, his friend Elise, a small cow with a penis-shaped spot, turns out to be the ideal sounding board.
For Katy
Powerpoint Karaoke
I discovered a new concept today – even though it’s been around for a while now, it’s still new to me :) It’s called Powerpoint Karaoke. It’s a spin-off from the traditional Karaoke, however instead of singing songs, the participants must present an impromptu presentation based on a random presentation, projected on a screen, to an audience. The presentations can come from a sampling of images collected locally or by randomly downloading from the Internet.
The rules:
1. Participants get five minutes to speak
2. The slide decks are made by the facilitator/host
3. The slides auto advance every 15 seconds
4. There are no other rules
5. Audience votes on the winner
You have to play for comedy. There is no way to take the slides seriously since by design they are ridiculous. At best you are making the audience laugh, at worst they watch in silence as you struggle on stage. It’s purely stunt presenting. No one is there to learn or be inspired, at least not directly. There’s an element of wanting to watch cars crash in this event. It’s all in good fun, but also schadenfreudian. There is no way to be good at this. This is liberating. It really is more like experimental theater than anything like a public speech.
Here’s an example of 4 battle decks. Enjoy :)
Battered husband syndrome
Last night, Katy was having a bad dream and she thumped me on the head twice, with a fair bit of oomph. When I asked her WTF she was doing, the only answer I got was a sleepy “sorry, I thought you were a crow”.
Riiiiiight…
What is your Pink Floyd song?
I don’t know, mine would probably be The Great Gig in the Sky, followed closely with Is There Anybody Out There/Nobody Home.
Shit happens
Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
Agnostic #2: Did someone shit?
Agnostic #3: What is this shit?
Atheism: What shit?
Atheism #2: I can’t believe this shit!
Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn’t really shit.
Calvinism: Shit happens because you don’t work.
Capitalism: That’s MY shit.
Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you can’t live without us…
Christian Science: Shit happening is all in your mind.
Commercialism: Let’s package this shit.
Communism: It’s everybody’s shit.
Confucianism: Confucius say, “Shit happens.”
Creationism: God made all shit.
Darwinism: This shit was once food.
Episcopalian: It’s not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
Existentialism: Shit doesn’t happen; shit IS.
Feminism: Men are shit.
Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama.
Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening!
Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
Idolism: Let’s bronze this shit.
Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Islam #2: If shit happens, kill the person responsible.
Islam #3: If shit happens, blame Israel.
Jehovah’s Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< Shit happens.
Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit?
Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it.
Mormonism: God sent us this shit.
Narcisism: I am the shit!
Nihilism: No shit.
Practical: Deal with shit one day at a time.
Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.
Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!
Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
Taoism: Shit happens.
Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit.
Utopianism: This shit does not stink.
Wiccan: An it harm none, let shit happen.
Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not.
Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of shit happening?
Meeping angel
