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To be or not to be, innit: Shakespeare gets a chav makeover

Posted on May 2, 2008 By admin

Generations of schoolchildren have complained of the inaccessibility of Shakespeare’s classic works.

However, with the help of a British satirist, the Ali G generation will have no trouble relating to Hamlet’s woes when they read: “Dere was somefing minging in de State of Denmark.”

In Martin Baum’s updated version of 15 of Shakespeare’s classic plays in “yoof speak”, the Danish prince, who is re-named ‘Amlet, asks: “To be or not to be, innit?”, and Romeo pines for his “fit bitch Jools”.

Mr Baum’s chav-speak Shakespeare, which takes its title from ‘Amlet’s query, includes titles such as Macbeff, Much Ado About Sod All, De ‘Appy Bitches of Windsor, De Taming of de Bitch, Two Geezas Of Verona and All’s Sweet That Ends Sweet, Innit.

Following the well-trodden path of modern interpretations of the Bard’s works, Mr Baum, 48, says his versions, while abridged, remain true to the original formats of Shakespeare’s classics, retaining “the important sexist, duplicitous, cross-dressing and violent moments that made William Shakespeare well wicked.”

Mr Baum’s version of Romeo and Juliet sets the scene for the star-crossed lovers with: “Verona was de turf of de feuding Montagues and de Capulet families.

“And coz they was always brawling and stuff, de prince of Verona told them to cool it or else they was gonna get well mashed if they carried on larging it with each other.”

If the Bard was living today, Mr Baum writes on his website, he would “still be writing in the Globe turf, getting loads of respect from the Stratford upon Avon massive and producing works of pure genius.”

Respect.

Source: The Telegraph

PS: I’ve just noticed that the Telegraph has links to directly submit stories to FARK. Wicked :)

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