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The beaver is a proud and noble animal

Notes from a bemused canuck

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Gods walk into a bar… 

Posted on July 9, 2017July 17, 2017 By admin

Jesus: Are you sure he’s one of yours? Because I didn’t make him. 

Satan: Please. Give me some credit. Even I have standards. 

Jesus: Buddha? Brahma? 

*both shrug their shoulders*

Satan: Gaia? 

Gaia: *glowers*

Satan: Right, right, sorry. Forgot about the whole pussy grabbing thing. 

Jesus: Cthulhu? 

Cthulhu: What sort of monster do you take me for? *sips tea*

Satan: Well SOMEBODY cooked him up.

Flying Spaghetti Monster: … 

Jesus: Wait… There’s no way you could… 

Flying Spaghetti Monster: Look…  It was my first time. I was a little drunk and someone asked for a ‘Tangerine Dream’  so I thought… 

Satan: *faceplams* Fucking newbies. 

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Quote of the day

Sam Vimes could parallel process. Most husbands can. They learn to follow their own line of thought while at the same time listening to what their wives say. And the listening is important, because at any time they could be challenged and must be ready to quote the last sentence in full. A vital additional skill is being able to scan the dialogue for telltale phrases such as "and they can deliver it tomorrow" or "so I've invited them for dinner?" or "they can do it in blue, really quite cheaply."
--(Terry Pratchett, The Fifth Elephant)

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