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Notes from a bemused canuck

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[recipe] Coffee-chocolate cake

Posted on March 30, 2015March 30, 2015 By admin

coffee-chocolate-cake

2 cups sugar
1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon kosher salt
2 eggs
1 cup buttermilk (*)
1 cup strong black coffee
1/2 cup vegetable oil
2 teaspoons vanilla extract

(*) Buttermilk can be substituted by adding 1 tbsp vinegar to 1 cup milk and letting stand for 5 minutes.

DIRECTIONS:
1. Heat oven to 175C. Grease and flour two 9-inch round baking pans. Set aside.
2. In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment or in a large bowl with an electric mixer, combine the sugar, flour, cocoa, baking soda, baking powder and salt. Mix on low until dry ingredients are thoroughly combined. Add eggs, buttermilk, coffee, oil and vanilla. Beat on medium speed for about two minutes; the batter will be thin. Pour batter evenly into prepared pans.
3. Bake in preheated oven for 30 to 35 minutes or until wooden toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes; remove from pans to wire racks. Cool completely.
4. Frost as desired. You can either use the coffee mascarpone filling as described below or glaze with a simple ganache.

Coffee mascarpone filling/icing

500g tubs mascarpone
85g golden caster sugar
4 tbsp very strong coffee
50g dark chocolate, for grating

Beat the mascarpone and sugar together, then beat in the coffee. Use half the mix to sandwich the cakes and spread the other half over the top, swirling with the back of a spoon to make pointy curls. Finely grate the chocolate over the top, then serve.

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Waiting for the worms

Posted on March 30, 2015March 30, 2015 By admin

image

On our way into town this morning, Bean and I saw this. These aren’t twigs blown off of trees. Those are worms. The footpath was covered in them. The picture doesn’t do the situation justice. We had to be careful where we put out feet down so as to not squish them.

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New entries for the dictionary

Posted on March 28, 2015March 28, 2015 By admin

Cashtration: The act of making a large purchase which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole

Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund,which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Bozone: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating.

Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very,very high

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.

Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.

Decafalon: The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Arachnoleptic Fit: The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web..

Beelzebug: Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Caterpallor: The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.

Flabbergasted: Appalled, by discovering how much weight one has gained.

Esplanade: To attempt an explanation while drunk.

Balderdash: A rapidly receding hairline.

Oyster: A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

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Baaaaad puns

Posted on March 28, 2015 By admin

Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.

Dijon vu – the same mustard as before.

Shotgun wedding – A case of wife or death.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.

A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two tired.

What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead give away.)

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

If you don’t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

You get stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

Once you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.

Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.

A vaccine is a jab well done.

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Call me Madam

Posted on March 28, 2015March 30, 2015 By admin

wpid-nn137.jpg

What I tried to do in my sex-advice column is simply this: tell it like it is, and never sweep the “nasty” bits under the carpet. Sex is only dirty to those with dirty minds. Although sex came out of the closet with the pill in the ’60s, the act of talking openly about it still remained taboo. As a sex advocate, my mission is to encourage people to dins a depth of pleasure in sex through honest education, which until the early ’70s hadn’t existed. My approach was new because I discussed all those things that we do but don’t dare talk about.

For over 30 years, Xaviera Hollander wrote a column in Penthouse. I recently came across this image again an it brought back a flood of memories :-)

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Quarterly Aligro run

Posted on March 28, 2015 By admin

image

This is what 800 francs of bulk stuff looks like.

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The stick of compliance

Posted on March 27, 2015 By admin

stick-of-compliance

It’s Friday. The office is in a silly mood. I got creative :)

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Exit, stage left.

Posted on March 26, 2015March 27, 2015 By admin

It was a colleague’s last day today. He cleared his stuff out before leaving. As I was leaving, I noticed that he’d left a solitary post-it in the middle of his desk.

wpid-20150326_181518_20150326210451170.jpg

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Awww, man, someone ripped off the thing I ripped off!

Posted on March 25, 2015 By admin

chong-smoke

https://www.flubu.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/Cheech-Chong-Next-Movie.mp4

Shit, man, I’m gonna be late for work again. That’s the fifth time this week, and it’s only Tuesday, man.

I’ve always had a soft spot for that movie. It’s really bad. Really, really bad. But it makes me laugh.

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Only in Japan: the kitkat sandwich

Posted on March 24, 2015March 24, 2015 By admin

kitkat

It is safe to say that the KitKat has well and truly established itself in Japanese culture. Nestlé has produced over 200 special edition flavors of the chocolate bar since 2000, which include gems such as creme brulée, ginger ale, cherry blossom, melon, soy sauce, baked potato, blueberry cheesecake, strawberry cheesecake, apple, pumpkin, brandy & orange, red bean paste, apricot seed, choco-banana, peach, fruit parfait, pear, mango, lemon, yuzu, salty watermelon, muscat grape, rum & raisin, cinnamon, apple vinegar, sports drink, pineapple, kiwi, caramel, maple, chestnut, edamame, purple sweet potato, french rock salt, wasabi, hot Japanese chili, creamy English tea, jasmine tea and green tea flavours. The newest addition to Japan’s seemingly endless list of KitKat creativity is the KitKat sandwich.

First Kitchen, a fast food franchise in Japan, are selling KitKats covered in whipped cream and orange peel sandwiched between two slices of white bread. The KitKats used aren’t your ordinary bars either. The sandwiches use ‘KitKat for Cafe’, which are apparently more robust bars designed specifically for dipping in hot drinks, to make the sandwiches more crispy. (Side note: WANT!!!) The sandwich is only 220 yen (£1.23) and despite sounding like something only a desperate university student would cook up, has been praised by those brave enough to try it.

kitkatgigazine_3241900a

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