Tag: news from the stupid

WASHINGTON, Nov. 8 Ben S. Bernanke, chairman of the Federal Reserve, told Congress today that the economy is going to get worse before it gets better, a message that got a chilly reception from both Wall Street and politicians. On a day when stock prices swung wildly, the dollar hit another new low against the euro and further signs emerged that consumers are growing more cautious about spending, Mr. Bernanke warned that the economy is about to slow noticeably as the housing market continues to spiral downward and financial institutions tighten up on lending.

[…]

Mr. Bernanke offered a rocky outlook for the months ahead. He said that the battered housing market had yet to hit bottom, that delinquencies and foreclosures were likely to rise and that the downturn in home building was likely to intensify. He predicted that personal spending would advance more slowly, because consumers are less confident and because of tighter credit conditions. On top of all that, he said, further sharp increases in crude oil prices have put renewed upward pressure on inflation and may impose further restraint on economic activity. Oil traded above $95 a barrel today, but the price was down slightly from the day before but still near its recent record highs.

Source: NY Times

The FBI is warning that al Qaeda may be preparing a series of holiday attacks on U.S. shopping malls in Los Angeles and Chicago, according to an intelligence report distributed to law enforcement authorities across the country this morning.

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I love the smell of fearmongering in the morning. God bless America.

Most parents like to pull out all the stops to make a child's 16th birthday as memorable as possible. But having a female stripper surprise your son in front of his teacher in class would not feature on many wish-lists. Yet that's what happened when one woman booked a special performer for her son's big day.

She stipulated that the surprise take place in drama class – and even asked the teacher to film it so the family could see the boy's reaction. But – thanks to what has been put down as a booking error – a female stripper turned up in place of the gorilla-suited man the unnamed mother had apparently asked for.

The stripper, who arrived on cue halfway through the lesson, first walked the birthday boy around the classroom on all fours. Then, gyrating to the sounds of Britney Spears, she spanked him before stripping down to her bra and knickers and insisting the “naughty” schoolboy rub cream all over her body. At that point, the teacher – who had not been told what the surprise would entail – called an immediate end to the show.

A grieving father won a nearly $11 million verdict Wednesday against a fundamentalist Kansas church that pickets military funerals in the belief that the war in Iraq is a punishment for the nation's tolerance of homosexuality.

Albert Snyder of York, Pennsylvania, sued the Westboro Baptist Church for unspecified damages after members demonstrated at the March 2006 funeral of his son, Lance Cpl. Matthew Snyder, who was killed in Iraq.

The jury first awarded $2.9 million in compensatory damages. It returned later in the afternoon with its decision to award $6 million in punitive damages for invasion of privacy and $2 million for causing emotional distress.

U.S. District Judge Richard Bennett noted the size of the award for compensating damages “far exceeds the net worth of the defendants,” according to financial statements filed with the court.

Church members routinely picket funerals of military personnel killed in Iraq and Afghanistan, carrying signs such as “Thank God for dead soldiers” and “God hates fags.”

A number of states have passed laws regarding funeral protests, and Congress has passed a law prohibiting such protests at federal cemeteries. But the Maryland lawsuit is believed to be the first filed by the family of a fallen serviceman.

The church and three of its leaders — the Rev. Fred Phelps and his two daughters, Shirley Phelps-Roper and Rebecca Phelps-Davis, 46 — were found liable for invasion of privacy and intent to inflict emotional distress.

Snyder claimed the protests intruded upon what should have been a private ceremony and sullied his memory of the event. The church members testified they are following their religious beliefs by spreading the message that the deaths of soldiers are due to the nation's tolerance of homosexuality.

Their attorneys argued in closing statements Tuesday that the burial was a public event and that even abhorrent points of view are protected by the First Amendment, which guarantees freedom of speech and religion.

The judge said the church's financial statements, sealed earlier, could be released to the plaintiffs. Earlier, church members staged a demonstration outside the federal courthouse.

Church founder Fred Phelps held a sign reading “God is your enemy,” while Shirley Phelps-Roper stood on an American flag and carried a sign that read “God hates fag enablers.”

Members of the group sang “God Hates America” to the tune of “God Bless America.”

Snyder sobbed when he heard the verdict, while members of the church greeted the news with tightlipped smiles.

Fred W. Phelps Sr., Westboro's founder, vowed to appeal to the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 4th Circuit, in Richmond, Va. “It's going to be reversed in five minutes,” he said. This case, he added, “will elevate me to something important,” as it draws more publicity to his cause.

“The goofy jury threw a fit at God,” Phelps said.

For years Westboro members have crisscrossed the country, turning somber funerals of soldiers from Iraq and Afghanistan into attention-grabbing platforms to criticize homosexuals as immoral and damned. The church's 75-member congregation is composed mainly of Phelps' relatives.

The group also blames disasters, including Hurricane Katrina, the Sept. 11 attacks and AIDS, on what it views as permissive morals in violation of biblical dictates.

In Pasadena, Calif., the Christmases and New Years are seldom white, which is why one California Institute of Technology (Caltech) student thought it might be fun to add an unexpected snow flurry to the annual Rose Parade on New Year's Day. Wanting to ensure his impromptu dusting wouldn't scare anyone, the student first spoke with local police.

Instead of responding with a simple yea or nay, the police launched an investigation, recounts Thomas Mannion, assistant vice president for campus life at Caltech. Six different police departments and the Department of Homeland Security contacted the would-be prankster before authorities dropped the case.

As the US celebrates Halloween, a night of time-honored trickery, college campuses across the nation may find themselves the target of many a practical joke. What's changed is how these jokes are carried out. Cultural shifts have altered the boundaries of what's acceptable, and 9/11 has raised new security concerns. All of this has made administration-monitored pranking the norm for universities that wish to preserve the tradition.

For better or worse, the days of prank-first, question-later are gone. In an open letter to the Massachusetts Institute of Technology student body, which, like Caltech, has a longstanding history of pranks, Chancellor Phillip Clay wrote earlier this month, “We cannot deny the fact that what was tolerated in the past, and may even have been celebrated, is now viewed differently.”

In the mid-'80s, for example, MIT students hacked the elevator system in a campus building. When passengers pushed a button, the car delivered them to a random floor. While the prank, or hack, as they're called at MIT, has attained legendary status, Kirk Kolenbrander, vice president for institute affairs, says that now such a stunt would likely make waves.

“That's clever, but at the same time our society today would say that there are real safety issues if that elevator is needed in an emergency,” says Mr. Kolenbrander. “Our world has a different patience for those issues than it once did.”

Even among the student body, tolerance for tomfoolery has begun to change. Following complaints in 2000 from several students at Harvey Mudd College in Claremont, Calif., about an annual prank where sophomores perform elaborate freshman room rearrangements such as turning a dorm room into a campsite, complete with sod administrators decided that rather than sacrifice their prank culture, they would refine it by creating a “no prank list.”

“There is an implicit assumption that when you come to Harvey Mudd that you are willing to be party to pranks against you and your room,” explains Guy Gerbick, associate dean of students. “We tell students during orientation, 'If you don't want to have certain things or yourself or any of your stuff pranked, let us know, and we'll put you on a list.' ”

Over half the student body has registered. According to Mr. Gerbick, most make specific demands, such as not to interrupt sleep or meddle with a prized guitar or stuffed-animal collection. Only about 15 students have asked for no involvement whatsoever.

At both Harvey Mudd and Caltech, students must get administrative approval before they perform pranks that way they can be left up for the entire campus to enjoy. When Mr. Mannion began working at Caltech 14 years ago, he was distressed by a decline in student pranks at the institution, which holds the No. 1 ranking on the all-time college prank list, according to the Museum of Hoaxes. Caltech took top honors for a 1961 Rose Bowl stunt, in which Washington students were tricked into proudly holding flip cards aloft to spell “CALTECH.”

Hoping to create a climate more inviting to high jinks, Mannion now counsels students about potential pranks, and, if he gives the OK, campus police and janitors are not allowed to stop the stunt. Caltech even has a $10,000+ fund to finance student pranks.

For university police on campuses with an established pranking culture, officers “walk a fine line,” says John DiFava, director of security and campus police services at MIT in Cambridge, Mass, In most cases, his department will not actively try to stop pranks, although if they see students trespassing, they will intervene.

“On one side of the equation you have a policy that says there are certain places with restricted access, and on the other side you have a tradition that's celebrated from all different quarters of the institute … and we're caught in the middle,” says Mr. DiFava. “It's a really tough position.”

Despite any potential friction they can create, Mannion argues that good practical jokes serve an important role in higher learning. “Pranks are great for all kinds of things: organizational skills, social skills, publicity,” he explains. Mannion wrote a letter of recommendation for a student applying to the Rhodes Scholar program largely based on abilities he demonstrated on a cross-country prank against MIT.

For Todd Gingrich, a Caltech senior who has flown all the way to Boston to prank MIT students, a good prank is an opportunity for students to demonstrate their technical skills in a creative manner. “It's a way to show that locking ourselves in our rooms and studying forever can actually lead to some practical and amusing results,” he says.

Muslim Minister Stopped And Searched

Britain's first Muslim minister has been stopped and searched at a US airport – after attending a series of meetings on tackling terrorism.

International Development Minister Shahid Malik, the MP for Dewsbury, said he was annoyed at being singled out, especially as the same thing happened to him in the US last year.

Mr Malik – and two other Muslim passengers – were taken aside at Dulles Airport in Washington DC. His hand luggage was analysed for traces of explosive materials.

He was searched and detained by the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) – the same department whose representatives he had been meeting during his visit.

Mr Malik said: “After a few minutes a couple of other people were also taken to one side. We were all Muslims – the other two were black Muslims, both with Muslim names.”

Mr Malik said he was particularly annoyed as a similar thing happened to him last year, when he was detained for an hour at JFK airport in New York by the DHS.

This was despite the fact he was a keynote speaker at an event organised by the department, alongside the FBI and Muslim organisations in New York. The theme of that speech was tackling extremism and defeating terrorism.

Mr Malik said he received numerous apologies and assurances from US authorities after that incident.

After his second detention, which lasted about 40 minutes, he said: “I am deeply disappointed.

“The abusive attitude I endured last November I forgot about and I forgave. But I really do believe that British ministers and parliamentarians should be afforded the same respect and dignity at US airports that we would bestow upon our colleagues in the Senate and Congress.

“Obviously, there was no malice involved, but it has to be said that the US system does not inspire confidence.”

Source: Sky News

A bonfire celebration in York, the home town of Guy Fawkes, has been banned on health and safety grounds, the local council said on Tuesday.

Thousands were due to attend the spectacle on the 402nd anniversary of Fawkes' failed plot to blow up parliament but York City Football Club was told their ground was too small to ensure spectator safety, a decision which left the head of the cathedral city's tourist board “lost for words.”

York Council's head of licensing, Dick Haswell, declined to be interviewed on Tuesday but in an emailed statement he defended the decision, saying it was made on health and safety grounds.

“Because the football club was proposing to hold a firework display in a certified sports ground, legally, they had to apply to York's Safety at Sports Advisory Group for a Special Safety Certificate,” he said.

“Unfortunately the ground was not large enough to provide the necessary distance between the area where fireworks could fall and spectators.”

The chief executive of York Tourism Board, Gillian Crudass, said she was “lost for words” at the council's decision.

“We are very much disappointed because it is a British tradition,” she told Reuters. “It attracts a lot of interest not just from local people, but also from visitors from all around the country who come for a short break — as well as international interest.”

A spokesman for the football club declined to comment.

Guy Fawkes was born in April 1570 in Stonegate, York and was in charge of executing the Roman Catholic plot to blow up parliament and the protestant King James 1 during the state opening of parliament on November 5, 1605. The plot was uncovered at the last minute and Fawkes was caught and executed early in 1606.

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Health & Safety has gone way beyond insane in this country. It's at the point where emergency services are told not to go into dangerous situations or perform acts that could jeopardize their safety. When you're a cop or a fireman, that's most of your job description… Especially for the firemen, who need to be trained on how to use a reclining chair for their rest-but-not-sleep^† periods and even moreso for the policemen who need to be trained on the proper way to ride a bicycle^‡.

Holiday light displays will probably be greatly reduced this year. Crippling insurance costs and absurd safety requirements mean many local authorities have abandoned their traditional lighting displays. Health & Safety insist that displays must be put up using specialized hydraulic equipment (not ladders, perish the thought!). Every surface to which a light is attached must undergo a rigorous 'pull-test' to make sure it is strong enough to hold a cable. Many councils have also been ordered to use a pressure gauge to test every bolt (!!!)which holds a cable or light fitting to a wall. Source: Daily Mail

I mean, for fuck's sake… Give common sense a chance?

^†The men and women of the Greater Manchester fire service have been told they can only rest in prescribed reclining chairs – and only after they have been trained to use them. Three experienced firemen are facing disciplinary action over “involvement in the use of unauthorised rest facilities”. They defied their orders to rest only on the £400 reclining chairs, which were installed as a replacements for beds in Greater Manchester's 41 fire stations last year. They are accused of breaking regulations by deciding it was more comfortable to use their own sleeping bags and bed down on the floor. Source: Daily Mail

^‡Police constables and community support officers who have less than a year's experience of patrolling on bikes have been told by the health and safety bosses at Greater Manchester Police that they must walk or use cars until a safety review is carried out because it was felt that that officers who have patrolled on bikes for less than 12 months did not have sufficient experience and road awareness to continue to ride. Source: Telegraph

THE great British breakfast is under threat – from a shortage of sausages and bacon, it emerged yesterday. Pig farmers warned that a 30 per cent rise in the cost of feed could put them out of business.

And they say supermarkets, which buy 70 per cent of British pork, must pay more to avert predicted £200million losses in the industry. Feed, which accounts for up to 60 per cent of the cost of raising a pig, is dearer because wheat prices are up. Ian Campbell, of the National Pig Association, said: Pig farmers are just giving up. Its not worth it any more.

More expensive wheat also threatens the cost of bread and eggs, other staples of the fry-up. If the supermarkets give in, a pack of eight bangers will go up from £1.99 to around £2.15. But the firms are resisting. Marks & Spencer said: We already pay well above market price.

And this is the Leader of the Free World :)

US President George W. Bush today thanked “Austrian” Prime Minister John Howard, in front of a summit of business leaders, for being a kind OPEC^† host.

Mr Bush, who flew halfway around the world to be in Australia, not Austria, for the APEC (Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation) summit of world leaders, took to the stage at the Sydney Opera House. He thanked Mr Howard for his introduction and for being such a “kind host” for the OPEC summit.

“I mean APEC summit,” he said. “I've been invited to the OPEC summit next year. The APEC summit.”

The faux pas brought laughter from his audience.

As if that was not enough though, Mr Bush also botched the host country's name, referring to Mr Howard's visit to Iraq in 2006 as a thank you to “the Austrian troops there”.

Mr Bush also stumbled over his pronunciation of Jemaah Islamiah, the regional terror network, but had no trouble with its abbreviation – JI.

Upon finishing his speech, Mr Bush took the wrong way off-stage and, looking slightly perplexed, had to be redirected by Mr Howard to a centre-stage exit.

But not before a veteran White House correspondent seized the opportunity to ask Mr Bush whether there had been any new message in his speech. Apparently misunderstanding the question, he bristled and asked, “Haven't you been listening to my past speeches?” before turning away.

White House aides later said Mr Bush had been joking and would not, in fact, attend an OPEC summit.

Mr Bush is no stranger to the occasional faux pas, and often jokes about his habit of mangling the English language. One of his highest-profile gaffes came in May when, at a welcoming ceremony for the Queen, he nearly placed her in the 18th century. Then there was the famous incident at the G8 summit in St Petersburg in 2006 when Mr Bush, unaware he was on camera, greeted British Prime Minister Tony Blair with the words “Yo Blair”.

Mr Bush's sometimes muddled syntax and mispronunciation of words like nuclear (“nukular”) have long been fodder for late-night TV comedians. But aides say his folksy style has helped endear him to Middle America^‡.

Source: http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,22378059-5013109,00.html

† OPEC is the Organisation of Petroleum Exporting Countries.
‡ Look Ma! We ain't da dumbest rednecks!!!

A national security expert revealed to The London Times that the Pentagon has “drawn up plans for massive airstrikes against 1,200 targets in Iran, designed to annihilate the Iranians military capability in three days.”

According to the paper, one Washington source said the “temperature was rising” to launch an Iranian attack inside the Bush administration. This information comes on the heels of reports from the International Atomic Energy Agency last week that cited “significant cooperation” with Iran over its nuclear program, including the slowing of uranium enrichment.

Israel, a close ally of the United States, has warned it will not allow Iran to acquire nuclear weapons, making its own preparations for airstrikes. If the United States back downs, it is said to be “ready to attack.”

Source: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/asia/article2369001.ece