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Tag: news from the stupid

There is nothing bacon can’t do

Posted on September 8, 2008September 8, 2008 By admin

Bacon-flavored vodka? Now you’ve heard it all.

“Everything is better with bacon. It’s one of my favorite foods,” said Don Yovicsin, the owner of Jake’s Dixie Roadhouse in Waltham. “So when one of my friends mentioned the idea of bacon and vodka, it piqued my curiosity.”

He fried a batch of Niman Ranch thick-cut applewood-smoked bacon, added the crispy bacon to a large infuser jar with Absolut vodka, then let it sit for four weeks. After the liquor was smoky, he filtered out the bacon pieces with cheesecloth, chilled the vodka to congeal the bacon fat, then removed it via coffee filter.

The remaining smoky liquor was bottled and put behind the bar, where Jake’s is serving it in a variety of cocktails.

“The clear winner has been our Bloody Mary,” said Yovicsin. “It’s too perfect with the smoky bacon flavor.”

Recipe: THE BACON BLOODY MARY

1 1/2 oz. bacon-flavored vodka
6 oz. Bloody Mary mix
Barbecue rub
1 lime wedge

Mix the bacon-flavored vodka and Bloody Mary mix together. Rub rim of tall glass with barbecue spices. Pour mix into glass. Garnish with lime wedge.


And then there is this. The maple bacon doughnut.

Maple Bacon Doughnut

Nothing else needs to be said.

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I’ll have a coke zero. Shaken, nor stirred.

Posted on September 4, 2008 By admin

That’s just plain WRONG!

James Bond is swapping his vodka martinis for Coke Zero. Soft drinks giant Coca-Cola has agreed a £5million deal to plug its brand alongside the movie. Limited edition black bottles and a special Coca-Cola Zero Zero Seven logo have even been created to tie-in with the 007 title. ‘Bond has to move with the times,’ an industry source tells the Daily Star. ‘And if that means switching drinks then so be it.’

Stop fucking with the classics!

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Reason #49,367 to not travel to the US anymore

Posted on August 20, 2008August 20, 2008 By admin

TSA Snafu Damages Nine Planes at O’Hare Field – Pilots Furious with Misstep

Nine American Eagle airplanes were grounded Tuesday after a TSA inspector, conducting an overnight security check, used sensitive instrument probes to climb onto the parked aircraft at Chicago’s O’Hare Airport. A TSA official confirmed the incident.

The TSA agent, as part of spot inspection of aircraft security, climbed onto the parked aircraft using control sensors mounted on the fuselage as handholds, according to a TSA official.

“Our inspector was following routine procedure for securing the aircraft that were on the tarmac,” said the official. The TSA agent was attempting to determine if someone could break into a parked aircraft, according to the agent.

Pilots were furious at the TSA misstep.

“The brilliant employees used an instrument located just below the cockpit window that is critical to the operation of the onboard computers,” one pilot wrote on an American Eagle internet forum. “They decided this instrument, the TAT probe, would be adequate to use as a ladder,” the pilot wrote.

Another pilot wrote the TSA agents, “are now doing things to our aircraft that may put our lives, and the lives of our passengers at risk.”

The TSA has been conducting such overnight spot checks at airports around the country.

Source: ABC

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If this is the land of the free, they can keep it!

Posted on August 1, 2008 By admin

Remind me to never, ever, ever again to to the US. If this is the land of the free, they can shove it where the sun don’t shine.

Federal agents may take a traveler’s laptop or other electronic device to an off-site location for an unspecified period of time without any suspicion of wrongdoing, as part of border search policies the Department of Homeland Security recently disclosed.

Also, officials may share copies of the laptop’s contents with other agencies and private entities for language translation, data decryption or other reasons, according to the policies, dated July 16 and issued by two DHS agencies, U.S. Customs and Border Protection and U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement.

“The policies . . . are truly alarming,” said Sen. Russell Feingold (D-Wis.), who is probing the government’s border search practices. He said he intends to introduce legislation soon that would require reasonable suspicion for border searches, as well as prohibit profiling on race, religion or national origin.

DHS officials said that the newly disclosed policies — which apply to anyone entering the country, including U.S. citizens — are reasonable and necessary to prevent terrorism. Officials said such procedures have long been in place but were disclosed last month because of public interest in the matter.

Civil liberties and business travel groups have pressed the government to disclose its procedures as an increasing number of international travelers have reported that their laptops, cellphones and other digital devices have been taken — for months, in at least one case — and their contents examined.

The policies state that officers may “detain” laptops “for a reasonable period of time” to “review and analyze information.” This may take place “absent individualized suspicion.”

The policies cover “any device capable of storing information in digital or analog form,” including hard drives, flash drives, cell phones, iPods, pagers, beepers, and video and audio tapes. They also cover “all papers and other written documentation,” including books, pamphlets and “written materials commonly referred to as ‘pocket trash’ or ‘pocket litter.’ “

Reasonable measures must be taken to protect business information and attorney-client privileged material, the policies say, but there is no specific mention of the handling of personal data such as medical and financial records.

When a review is completed and no probable cause exists to keep the information, any copies of the data must be destroyed. Copies sent to non-federal entities must be returned to DHS. But the documents specify that there is no limitation on authorities keeping written notes or reports about the materials.

“They’re saying they can rifle through all the information in a traveler’s laptop without having a smidgen of evidence that the traveler is breaking the law,” said Greg Nojeim, senior counsel at the Center for Democracy and Technology. Notably, he said, the policies “don’t establish any criteria for whose computer can be searched.”

Customs Deputy Commissioner Jayson P. Ahern said the efforts “do not infringe on Americans’ privacy.” In a statement submitted to Feingold for a June hearing on the issue, he noted that the executive branch has long had “plenary authority to conduct routine searches and seizures at the border without probable cause or a warrant” to prevent drugs and other contraband from entering the country.

Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff wrote in an opinion piece published last month in USA Today that “the most dangerous contraband is often contained in laptop computers or other electronic devices.” Searches have uncovered “violent jihadist materials” as well as images of child pornography, he wrote.

With about 400 million travelers entering the country each year, “as a practical matter, travelers only go to secondary [for a more thorough examination] when there is some level of suspicion,” Chertoff wrote. “Yet legislation locking in a particular standard for searches would have a dangerous, chilling effect as officers’ often split-second assessments are second-guessed.”

The emphasis is mine, but it’s still disgusting. They say that it’s for the good of the people. That’s like saying “only the guilty have something to fear”. All hail Big Brother! It’s in the same vein as killing off all of Usenet in order to get rid of a few hundred binary newsgroups. It’s like using a shotgun to kill a fly – as subtle, as effective and as smart.

Source: Washington Post

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Slow down while I cut the lemon

Posted on July 31, 2008 By admin

I’m pissed off at the BBC at the moment. Last night, they showed a rerun of the Top Gear Polar Challenge, but stripped out any mention of the Gin & Tonic incident. In the original version, the boys were filmed drinking G&Ts at the wheel of the Toyota Hilux they were using to drive to the North Pole. Apparently, this angered a lot of busybodies who, in the fine British tradition, wrote letters to the BBC. Top Gear got slapped on the wrists, and now we must never mention this again!

All the videos on youtube where the G&T incident was shown have been taken down and the “offiicial” version of the show has been severely edited, as we saw last night. To this, I say booooo! to the BBC and heartily agree with James May’s rebuttal, as written in the Telegraph and quoted below:

There’s nothing quite like a nice warm gin and tonic

Recently, you will no doubt have seen that there has been a bit of a stink in some of the papers about my drive to the North Pole with Jeremy Clarkson. So I would like to use this week’s column not to offer an unreserved apology.

The question everyone is asking is this: is it right for two grown men to be seen on television – on a public service channel at that – drinking gin and tonic while in charge of a powerful four-wheel-drive vehicle? The answer is obviously yes. Yes it is.

I’m not suggesting you should do this sort of thing on a public thoroughfare. That would be worse than stupid. But we were at least 400 miles from the nearest road, so what, exactly, was the problem? That we might have caused an accident? That we were setting a bad example to other people driving to the North Pole in a Toyota pickup?

I have been vilified for asking Clarkson to “slow down while I cut the lemon”, but what was this if not due consideration for health and safety? Had he kept going at that speed I might have been flung across the cabin and stabbed him through the throat with the carefully honed expedition instrument I bought from John Lewis the day before we left.

The flaw in the argument of some of these so-called reporters is that, while they might be familiar with Gin Lane, none of them has driven to the North Pole with Clarkson. Only I have, so only I have a valid opinion on the matter, and my opinion is that it’s pretty bloody awful.

We didn’t wash for 10 days. It never got dark but I had to attempt to sleep in a frozen tent with an exploding paraffin cooker and another man, who cocooned himself completely in his sleeping bag and then writhed around all “night” like a blasphemous maggot. We ate food made from rehydrated Guardian social services job adverts out of dog bowls, and had to arm ourselves before going to the lavatory in case we were caught with our rancid pants down by a polar bear. Tell me we weren’t entitled to seek brief respite in the juniper berry.

To be honest, I not only condone this sort of thing, I wholeheartedly recommend it, should you find yourself driving to the North Pole in a Toyota pickup. There is something satisfyingly surreal about huddling inside eight layers of arctic clothing at an ambient temperature of minus 30, then chipping a tiny piece from the frozen wasteland, dropping it into your drink and then allowing the lot to course, terrifying in its coldness, down your throat in defiance of the lethally low thermometer reading. Gin and tonic is seen as a hot-weather drink but believe me, it tastes best when it’s the warmest thing on offer.

What’s more, serving a decent gin and tonic – quite a skill in itself – throws up unique challenges at those latitudes, and my efforts should rightly be seen as pioneering work in the quest to establish it as a truly global drink. Normally, a G&T served at a wedding reception or a poncy garden party is too warm. Near the North Pole, it tends to be too cold, ie frozen.

You probably keep your tins of tonic water in the fridge. I was forced to store them in a large Thermos flask half full of water at about three degrees, itself procured only after a scary session with a saucepan and the suicidal paraffin heater. In the open (and that included the inside of the car, where the heater was never used) their contents froze and burst the tins. At least three servings of tonic are still there, locked for eternity in the instant of effervescence, relics as poignant as Captain Oates’s boots.

But still some people – people no doubt enjoying the privileges of a comfy chair and a loose-fitting shirt – see fit to condemn our actions from a position of ignorance. I do not have a view on how people should behave on the field of battle, because I’ve never been there. People who have not driven to the North Pole with Clarkson are likewise not entitled to a view on how best to endure its horrors.

When we had completed our expedition I was asked, by a reporter, if my life would be better or worse for the experience. I decided it would be worse, because occasionally I would remember it.

I take some solace, however, in the thought that I remember slightly less of it than I might have done. Thanks to Gordon’s.

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These people should be horsewhipped and shot

Posted on July 24, 2008 By admin

A judge in New Zealand made a young girl a ward of court so that she could change the name she hated – Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii.

Judge Rob Murfitt said that the name embarrassed the nine-year-old and could expose her to teasing. He attacked a trend of giving children bizarre names, citing several examples.

Officials had blocked Sex Fruit, Keenan Got Lucy, Yeah Detroit, Stallion, Twisty Poi, Fat Boy, Cinderella Beauty Blossom and Fish and Chips (twins), he said, but Number 16 Bus Shelter, Violence, Midnight Chardonnay and Benson and Hedges (twins) had been allowed.

One mother wanted to name her child O.crnia using text language, but was later persuaded to use Oceania, he said.

The ruling, in the city of New Plymouth on the North Island, was handed down in February but only made public now. The name issue emerged during a custody hearing for the young girl – who had refused to tell her friends her name and went simply by “K”.

“The court is profoundly concerned about the very poor judgment which this child’s parents have shown in choosing this name,” Judge Murfitt wrote. “It makes a fool of the child and sets her up with a social disability and handicap, unnecessarily.”

Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii’s name has now been changed and the custody case resolved, court officials said.

Source: BBC

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Can I have a pathetic cry for attention? Please? Thank you.

Posted on July 20, 2008 By admin

A high profile Chinese performance artist is suing movie bosses for allegedly “insulting” the country’s national symbol in new animated film Kung Fu Panda.

Zhao Bandi has launched legal action against Dreamworks – the studio behind the movie – for apparently depicting the panda in a negative light and making a mockery of Chinese heritage. Bandi previously called on people in China to boycott the picture amid fears it could be seen as offensive. And now he has filed papers in Beijing, demanding an apology from the filmmakers.

He says, “Designing the panda with green eyes is a conspiracy. A panda with green eyes has the feeling of evil. We would never have used green eyes to describe a kindhearted figure. “Next, why is the panda’s father a duck? Many foreigners think that the giant panda is not just China’s symbol, but also the Chinese people’s symbol. “Drawing the father of the giant panda as a duck is an insult to the Chinese people.”

Source: Reuters

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Airport scans for illegal downloads on iPods, mobile phones and laptops

Posted on July 11, 2008 By admin

Found this in the Telegraph, via Gizmondo.

This makes me sick, and violently angry. This is just another nail in the coffin of common sense, and it is another way to prove my point that industry giants will spend millions of dollars on lobbying to try and save a few thousands of dollars in losses – the end result of which means that life gets more difficult for John Q. Public.

IPods, mobile phones and laptops could be examined by airport customs officials for illegal downloads under strict new counterfeiting measures being considered by G8 governments this week, it is claimed. The measures form part of an international agreement aimed at stamping out piracy, but there are fears that individuals who have illegally downloaded songs or video clips on to MP3 players and phones for personal use could also be caught out.

They coincide with plans by the European Parliament for Internet Service Providers to be held liable if their users download illegal content, and in extreme cases, forced to disconnect people who are doing so. Illegal downloading and piracy represents the biggest single problem faced by the music, film and publishing industries, and many have been lobbying governments to introduce tough new rules to help stamp out the practice.

Earlier this month, Virgin Media resorting to writing to customers warning them that their internet services would be terminated if they persisted in file sharing. So far, little has been revealed about the Anti-Counterfeiting Trade Agreement being considered by the G8 nations, apart from a mention in the organisation’s “Declaration on the World Economy” published this week.

Backing the development of the new agreement, it said: “Effective promotion and protection of Intellectual Property Rights are critical to the development of creative products, technologies and economies.”

A leak to a technology website revealed that the focus of Acta was “border measures, particularly how to deal with large-scale intellectual property infringements, which can frequently involve criminal elements”.

However, a footnote saying that those signing up to Acta should put in place “provisions related to criminal enforcement and border measures to be applied at least in cases of trademark counterfeiting and copyright piracy”, has generated intense speculation about what it could mean for the individual. Recent research by the British Music Rights group found that the average teenager and student has 800 illegal downloads on their MP3 player. The suggestion that the new laws could be used by customs to scan MP3 players, mobiles and laptops for illegal downloads is just one of a number of potential measures that is causing concern in the technology world, leading to fevered debate about the implications on a number of websites.

Another is that mobile phone companies could contact their customers to warn them off sharing video clips. However, a source representing record labels said the practice of checking iPods and phones was unworkable.

“It is more likely to be about customs having the powers to intercept large shipments of raw materials and vast packages of MP3s with prerecorded content,” he said.

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Quote of the day

Posted on July 11, 2008 By admin

SMS is widely considered to be the most expensive data service in the world, with each message only 165 characters long but charged by phone companies at around 20p per message. Multiplied out, that equates to 1.3 million pounds per gigabyte of SMSes. (By comparison, mobile network Three offers 1GB of high speed internet usage for about £15.)

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This doesn’t bode well for the future…

Posted on July 9, 2008July 9, 2008 By admin

Yobs threw rocks at his house for years. But the father who fought back is arrested

For more than two years, Sydney Davis’s house has been under siege from youths throwing stones. After two hours of bombardment in the latest attack and no sign of the police, the 65-year-old retired builder decided enough was enough. As a particularly large missile landed in his kitchen, he grabbed a plank of wood from the garden and ran towards the gang to scare them away. The police arrived just in time – to arrest Mr Davis for possession of an offensive weapon. He now faces up to six months in prison. Yesterday Mr Davis said he was bewildered by the decision to prosecute him. He claims objects have been thrown at his house on 700 separate occasions. His windows have been smashed five times in eight months.

It’s not the first time I see articles like this in UK news services. It really bothers me and it means that we’ll really need to look carefully where we decide to buy a house.

People suck.

Source: The Daily Mail

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