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Tag: news from the stupid

A new meaning to all you can eat…

Posted on April 27, 2009 By admin

Brothels cut prices to beat the recession
German prostitutes are offering discounts, loyalty cards and ‘extras’

It has not taken long for the global financial crisis to affect the world’s oldest profession in Germany.

In one of the few countries where prostitution is legal, the industry has responded with an economic stimulus package of its own: modern marketing tools, rebates, discounts and gimmicks to boost falling demand.

Some brothels have cut prices or added free promotions, while others have introduced all-inclusive flat-rate fees. Free shuttle buses, discounts for seniors and taxi drivers, as well as “day passes” are among marketing strategies designed to keep business going.

Germany has about 400,000 professional prostitutes. In 2002, legislation allowed prostitutes to advertise and enter into formal labour contracts. It opened the way for them to get health insurance, previously refused if they listed their true profession.

Berlin’s Pussy Club has attracted media attention with its headline-grabbing “flat rate” – a €70 admission charge for unlimited food, drink and sex between 10am and 4pm. “You’ve got to come up with creative solutions these days,” said club manager Stefan, who requested his surname not be published. “We’re feeling the economic crisis, too, even though business has, fortunately, been more or less OK for us so far.” Stefan, who runs other establishments in Heidelberg and Wuppertal besides the Berlin club, said the flat rate had helped to keep the 30 women working in each location fully employed. Other novel ideas include loyalty cards, group sex parties, and rebates for golf players. Hamburg’s GeizHaus is especially proud of its discount €38.50 price.

Stephanie Klee, a prostitute in Berlin and former leader of the German association of sex workers, said that even if some luxury brothels were weathering the storm, many more were struggling. “If the consumer electronics shop comes out with rebates and special promotions, why shouldn’t we try the same thing?” she said. While she might have had five or six clients per day a year ago, she added, that had fallen to one or even none.

Source: The Guardian

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We are not amused

Posted on February 12, 2009 By admin

The muppets at Cheltenham & Gloucester have refused our mortgage, on the basis that I do not have permanent leave to remain in the UK. This comes after leaving us hanging for two weeks while there was an inch of show on the ground and people were too pussy to go to work. This is, even, after they said that they would offer us a mortgage. They knew about my vsa status from the get go. Our mortgage broker had told them from the start and they said that it wouldn’t be an issue.

Until it became one.

After we’d put an offer on a house that we loved.

This is bureaucracy at its best. Red-tape, cover-your-ass mentality.

I’m gutted and furious and distraught and emotionally drained. I didn’t sleep at all last night.

We were told it wouldn’t be a problem, so we got emotionally attached to the house. We were measuring curtans and picking out colour schemes. Now, we’ll need to cancel our offer if our broker can’t find us another lender by the end of the week. Its not fair to the lady who’s selling the house to leave her hanging for longer than that.

Fuck you C&G, I hope you go bankrupt.

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Excuse me while my heart f’n bleeds for you.

Posted on February 10, 2009 By admin

Bankers: We’ll sue if we are denied our million-pound bonuses

A group of senior bankers today warned they would sue if they are denied million-pound bonuses. The bankers, all at managing director level and some with more than £1 million bonuses, have taken on a leading lawyer to prepare for legal action if an attempt to clamp down on payouts is made.

Ronnie Fox, who specialises in employment law, has been contacted by managing directors who fear they could be denied their bonuses despite their departments making money. Mr Fox, of Fox Lawyers in Cornhill, is preparing to launch a legal battle against the unnamed banking giants if the Government presses ahead with plans to impose a blanket ban on bonuses. Legal experts today warned that plans to stop bonuses may be a breach of bankers’ human rights.

The warning came hours after a Downing Street spokesman said the Prime Minister wants employees at banks which have received state handouts to waive their bonuses.

Mr Fox, a member of the Law Society’s remuneration committee, is representing “a small number” of senior clients but said this could expand if the Government gets tough on payouts. They include one senior executive who devised a strategy for turning losing positions into profits but was made redundant after his department suffered big losses.

Mr Fox told the London Evening Standard: “Although it is a small amount now, if the Government decides to act over bonuses, that group of disgruntled bankers could become a lot larger. In each case they have said to me that there are several other people in the same position. I’m representing some people who are very concerned. What they have to see is what the banks actually do and what the Government makes them do. At the moment the Government is telling the banks to look very carefully at the bonuses paid to people where the banks have received state aid. Where they have done well or their business unit has done well it’s wrong that they should suffer. These are people who would expect six to seven-figure bonus payouts.”

He said there is a shortage of jobs in the sector and some bankers are “quite angry” at the prospect of losing bonuses.

Mr Fox added: “The Government oversimplifies things and says ‘all bankers are bad, none of them are entitled to bonuses, they got us into this mess’.

“They’re doing it to focus attention away from the Government’s role.”

Many bank workers are legally entitled to bonuses under the terms of their employment contract.

A spokesman for Gordon Brown said: “The Prime Minister’s view is that, for those people in potential receipt of substantial payments to which they are legally entitled, they may want to ask themselves some quite searching questions about whether or not they should in fact receive them.”

Emphasis mine. Excuse me while I go find my violin.

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Damn you Conservatives, damn you to heck!!!

Posted on February 5, 2009 By admin 1 Comment on Damn you Conservatives, damn you to heck!!!

Expats fear for children’s fate under new rules

Changes to citizenship laws limit ability to pass Canadian status to those born outside Canada, critics say

OTTAWA — Expatriate Canadians say their children who have been born abroad are being denied the full rights of citizenship under rules that come into effect in April.

Canadians who give birth or adopt in another country will be able to pass along their citizenship to their children. But those foreign-born children of Canadians will not be able to bestow that same citizenship on their own children should they also decide to adopt or give birth outside Canada.

A spokesman for Immigration Minister Jason Kenney said the minister has heard from parents who fear that the new law will limit the options of their children adopted abroad. He is aware “of these concerns, and is seized of the matter,” Alykhan Velshi said. “Last week, he asked his officials to review this aspect of the legislation.”

But there do not seem to be similar plans to review the rules that will affect, retroactively, the many people born to Canadians working in foreign countries.

“Hundreds of thousands of Canadians will be affected by these rules. These people may be working or volunteering abroad temporarily,” Allan Nichols, the executive director of the Canadian Expat Association, said in an e-mail.

“My own children will be affected,” wrote Mr. Nichols, whose son and daughter were born outside of Nagoya, Japan, where he was working as a consolidator for a travel agency. “They were born abroad, but, of course, live in Canada. As bilingual (English-Japanese) children they hope to work in international trade in the future. Do I honestly need to tell them that if they have kids while working abroad, they will not be Canadian?”

The new regulations were released in December, after changes to the Citizenship Act were passed into law last spring. Exemptions have been extended for the children of Canadian diplomats and military personnel.

But those who have taken jobs overseas with multinational corporations, for instance, or have gone to another country to teach or work with aid groups, will be affected. Robin Pascoe of Vancouver, who advocates for the interests of Canadian expatriates, said the new regulations will affect Canada’s competitiveness in the global economy.

“There is a mobile Canadian work force. And it’s not a small number of people who are going to feel the long-term effects of this,” Ms. Pascoe said.

In introducing the changes to the Citizenship Act, the government was trying to prevent foreign-born nationals from coming to Canada, obtaining citizenship, then returning to their country of origin and passing along citizenship endlessly from generation to generation.

But federal officials acknowledge they did not contemplate all of the ramifications when they crafted the legislation.

Janet Dench, executive director of the Canadian Council for Refugees, said her group is concerned about people born Canadian citizens in another country – or adopted as Canadian citizens abroad – whose main or only meaningful tie to a country is to Canada.

The new rules, said Ms. Dench “leads to the risk of children of Canadian citizens being stateless.” Some countries do not automatically grant citizenship to children born within their borders.

Douglas Kellam, a spokesman for the Immigration Department, said that can’t happen because Canada has signed an international treaty that means it doesn’t have rules that could lead to statelessness.

“Potential stateless cases may be eligible to be sponsored in the family class for permanent residence,” Mr. Kellam said. “As soon as a minor child of a Canadian citizen becomes a permanent resident, the parent could immediately apply for a grant of citizenship on behalf of the child.”

A child born to a Canadian citizen who ends up stateless as a result of the new law could also apply for citizenship if they are under 23 and have resided in Canada for at least three of the four years immediately before they make that application.


CANADA’S RULES: SCENARIOS

A girl is adopted in China by Canadian parents and then raised in Canada. She returns to China as an adult and marries a Chinese man. She cannot pass along her Canadian citizenship to her children.

A boy is born in the United States to Canadian parents who teach at a university. He returns with his family to Canada, where he grows up. Like his parents, he also goes abroad to teach as an adult. He marries a woman who teaches at the same university in France. His children are not eligible for Canadian citizenship.

A girl is born to Canadian parents who have moved to Kuwait, where her mother works for a Canadian petroleum company. She is granted Canadian citizenship because her parents are Canadian. But Kuwait does not grant citizenship to children just because they are born in that country. When the girl grows up and has a child of her own in Kuwait, that baby is neither Canadian nor Kuwaiti.

THE WORLD’S RULES: OTHER STRATEGIES

Children born to Australians outside of Australia must be registered to become Australian citizens, but the granting of citizenship is basically automatic. The second generation of children born outside Australia can be registered as Australian only if one of their parents is Australian and has lived for a cumulative period of two years inside Australia.

Children born to British citizens while they are outside the United Kingdom will be considered British citizens by descent, but they cannot pass along their citizenship to their own children born abroad.

Children born to American parents abroad can become citizens if both parents are American and at least one of the parents lived in the United States before the birth. If only one parent is American, the citizenship can be passed to the children if that parent lived in the United States for five years before the birth and at least two of those years occurred after the parent turned 14.

So, in a nutshell, if Ben has kids outside of Canada, they won’t be Canadian. If he has kids in Canada, they’ll be Canadian and British, but *their* kids won’t be British unless they have them in the UK. Nice and simple, right?

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My brain, it hurts from teh stoopid!

Posted on October 13, 2008 By admin

Rev. Arnold Conrad, in delivering an invocation at a rally today for John McCain in Davenport, Iowa, apparently didn’t get the word from the candidate about elevating the tone at such gatherings. Conrad, who appeared before the crowd before McCain had arrived, offered a prayer that seemed to urge divine intervention to prevent Barack Obama from winning the presidential election — and cast the outcome as a referendum on differing religions:

I would also pray Lord that your reputation is involved in all that happens between now and November, because there are millions of people around this world praying to their God — whether it’s Hindu, Buddha, Allah — that his [McCain’s] opponent wins for a variety of reasons. And Lord I pray that you would guard your own reputation, because they’re going to think that their god is bigger than you, if that happens. So I pray that you would step forward and honour your own name in all that happens between now and Election Day. Oh Lord, we just commit this time to you, move among us, make your presence very well felt as we are gathered here today in Jesus’s name I pray.

Some in the crowd greeted the prayer with applause.

God Bless America. Brings a tear to your eye, don’t it?

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But it was only said as a joke!!!

Posted on October 9, 2008October 9, 2008 By admin

Homosexuals should carry warning tattoos, says chaplain

A Church of England clergyman has said that homosexuals should be tattooed with health warnings similar to those seen on cigarette packets.

The Rev Dr Peter Mullen, who is rector of St Michael’s Cornhill and St Sepulchre without Newgate in the City, said in an internet blog that homosexuality was “clearly unnatural, a perversion and corruption of natural instincts and affections, and because it is a cause of fatal disease”.

He wrote: “Let us make it obligatory for homosexuals to have their backsides tattooed with the slogan SODOMY CAN SERIOUSLY DAMAGE YOUR HEALTH and their chins with FELLATIO KILLS.”

In the same blog, Mr Mullen called for all gay pride parades, which he branded “obscene”, to be outlawed. He also criticised the blessing of two gay priests at a “wedding” performed earlier this year in a City of London church.

The Bishop of London, the Rt Rev Richard Chartres, said the posting, which has since been taken down, was “highly offensive”. The Rev Mullen, 66, was told on Friday that he could face disciplinary action.

The rector, who has written for The Daily Telegraph, insisted that he meant no harm: “I wrote some satirical things on my blog and anybody with an ounce of sense of humour or any understanding of the tradition of English satire would immediately assume that they’re light-hearted jokes.”

Source: BBC, Telegraph

It’s just a joke. Riiiiiight.

In other news, OMFG what’s wrong with his face???

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Apparently, greed knows no bounds

Posted on October 1, 2008 By admin

Bank goes bust. Shareholders get wiped out. Creditors stand to lose over $100bn. Bankruptcy causes further crisis of confidence in entire financial system, requiring potential $700bn bailout funded by taxpayers. Employees get $3.5bn bonuses.

Hello, there. Something is wrong with this script. If one was making a film about greed on Wall Street, it would be hard to come up with a better sequence. But this is not fiction. This is Lehman Brothers.

The exact details of the bonuses on offer from Barclays and Nomura – which have bought the US and Europe/Asian operations respectively – are unclear. But Barclays has set aside up to $2.5bn and Nomura has reportedly made $1bn available for European employees alone. In both cases, the bonuses are based on what was paid in 2007. There are also some wild numbers doing the rounds about what the top guys in New York are receiving.

It’s all too easy to understand why the purchasers are offering big sums to tie in key staff – and why the employees want fat bonuses. One can even feel a bit sorry for the more middle-ranking staff as they didn’t steer the bank onto the rocks. Also, it’s not that the employees should have received no bonuses; it’s just that basing them on last year’s boom numbers looks out of whack. Were these sums really necessary to hang onto talent when there are so few jobs going elsewhere?

What’s more, there’s are the other stakeholders to consider. Smaller bonuses might have meant lower losses for creditors. The liquidators might have been able to coax a bit more out of the purchasers if less was going to the employees.

There is also the wider public interest. At a time when a backlash against Wall Street greed is mounting, this sort of behaviour further undermines the moral basis of financial capitalism.

Source: The Telegraph

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Democracy works, kinda, except in the US.

Posted on September 27, 2008 By admin

In the land of the free, it is possible to win the popular vote and lose the electoral vote, and therefore the election. It is also possible to win the election with less than 50% of the voting population. Both of these scenarios, as well as others, have happened in actual elections.

There have been 12 Presidential elections that were decided by less than a 1% margin; meaning if less than 1% of the voters in certain states had changed their mind to the other candidate the outcome of the entire election would have been different.

Case and point: in 2000, if only 269 Floridians had voted with their heads instead of with their ass (or if the hanging chad issue hadn’t stolen the election), Al Gore would have won the election and the Dubya era would only have been a bad what-if scenario.

Source: https://www.msu.edu/~sheppa28/elections.html#2004

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Mickey Mouse Must Die!

Posted on September 22, 2008 By admin

Source: The Telegraph

Mickey Mouse is a corrupting influence and must die, a Muslim cleric has declared.

Sheikh Muhammad Munajid claimed the mouse is “one of Satan’s soldiers” and makes everything it touches impure. But he warned that depictions of the creature in cartoons such as Tom and Jerry, and Disney’s Mickey Mouse, had taught children that it was in fact loveable. The cleric, a former diplomat at the Saudi embassy in Washington DC, said that under Sharia, both household mice and their cartoon counterparts must be killed. Mr Munajid was asked to give Islam’s teaching on mice during a religious affairs programme broadcast on al-Majd TV, an Arab television network.

According to a translation prepared by the Middle East Media Research Institute, an American press monitoring service, he said: “The mouse is one of Satan’s soldiers and is steered by him. According to Islamic law, the mouse is a repulsive, corrupting creature. How do you think children view mice today – after Tom and Jerry? Even creatures that are repulsive by nature, by logic, and according to Islamic law have become wonderful and are loved by children. Even mice. Mickey Mouse has become an awesome character, even though according to Islamic law, Mickey Mouse should be killed in all cases.”

Last month Mr Munajid condemned the Beijing Olympics as the “bikini Olympics”, claiming that nothing made Satan happier than seeing females athletes dressed in skimpy outfits.

People like this piss me off. There are fanatics on both sides of the debates, and it’s ruining everything for people stuck in the middle. There is more talk this year about banning Santa Claus and Christmas because it could be offensive for Muslims in Britain.

It would seem that it’s not possible to be a moderate anymore. I never was this annoyed by PC-ism, but the whole moralistic outrage culture is giving me a knee-jerk reaction of “let them be offended!”.

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What happened to manners? courtesy? not being a fuckwit?

Posted on September 11, 2008 By admin

Think twice before accepting an invitation to a party. That’s the lesson Tonya Bowman, 39, learned recently after a birthday bash for a newfound acquaintance at a pricey sushi restaurant. While Bowman ordered economically — rice, miso soup and tea — everyone else acted as if money were no object.

“When the bill came,” Bowman says, the birthday girl “smiled and made a big production by way of a toast, saying, ‘Thank you all so much for my lovely birthday dinner. I really do appreciate it. You guys are great. Here’s to you!’ Then she just sat there, waiting for us to decide how to split the bill.”

The bill for the birthday girl and her seven “guests” came to a whopping $3,450, which someone suggested splitting evenly. That worked out to $500 per person, plus tip.

“I almost started crying,” says Bowman, a municipal employee in Oakland, California. “My heart was racing; my face felt hot. I was embarrassed, humiliated and angry for having been put in that position in the first place. I wasn’t told that I would be helping to pay for her dinner.”

When the bill was being passed around, Bowman panicked. “I simply put down $50 near my plate and excused myself to go to the restroom,” she says. “I walked right by the restroom and out the front door.”

The acquaintance sent Bowman an angry e-mail.

“She wanted me to know that I totally ruined her birthday dinner because she ended up having to cover the $450 that I was supposed to pay. She said she had planned to use that money on a spa day for her birthday and now she couldn’t because of me. She asked if I could please pay her back, and if I didn’t have the money right now, that was OK, because she would be willing to make payment arrangements with me.

“I didn’t pay … and she’s no longer my friend or acquaintance.”

Linnda Durré, Ph.D., an Orlando psychotherapist, says Bowman’s story isn’t unique.

“It’s appalling what people do and how rude and insensitive they can be,” she says. “I’ve heard stories about adults giving their parents an anniversary party and the parents getting stuck with the bill.”

Surprise! Now pay up

Rachel Mays, 31, is still shaking her head about a surprise party she attended for a friend’s birthday last year.

“We all got there at the determined 8:30 p.m. start time, and there was a fabulous open bar. Then, we were asked whether we preferred chicken or beef for dinner,” says Mays, the owner of Bread and Butter Public Relations in Los Angeles.

Mays and her boyfriend were surprised dinner was being served at such a late party. Not wanting to be the odd couple standing in the back, they ordered anyway.

A few days later, however, the host told Mays she owed $120 for dinner and gave her an address to which she could mail a check.

“I ignored his first e-mail,” admits Mays, “but when I received the second, I let him know I wasn’t working at the time and frankly, thought it was tacky to not mention these details when he sent out the invitations.” Mays didn’t pay, but says she now avoids gatherings where she knows that person will be present.

Elayne Savage, Ph.D., a communication and relationship coach in Berkeley, California, says such situations leave people feeling disrespected and manipulated. She says an unpleasant surprise “throws us off our center. We expect our friends to treat us with the same consideration and understanding we would show them. It is very disappointing when this does not happen.”

BYOF: Bring your own food

Melinda Williams, 48, owner of a public relations and advertising agency in Chester County, Pennsylvania, was thrilled to be invited to a neighbor’s pool party cookout soon after moving to the neighborhood. Then she read the invitation’s fine print.

“I remember it saying something to the effect of ‘We supply the paper goods and pool, you supply the rest,'” she says. So Williams and her husband came prepared: “We brought a cooler with a full London broil and side dishes — enough for everyone at the party.”

When they arrived and saw a row of coolers by the pool, Williams says she and her husband opened one up and helped themselves to beverages, assuming that they were to be shared. “We were quickly chastised by another family (and told) that that cooler and beverages belonged to them,” she says. “We couldn’t believe it!

“We waited for about two hours and they never started cooking anyone’s meat, and we had a small baby at the time, so we just left our food and cooler there and went home.”

How to party without hurt feelings

“Situations like this can cause deep rifts in families and friendships that may be irreparable,” says Durré. “I suggest being up front from the start. That way people aren’t surprised, hurt, angry or resentful, and relationships can be salvaged.”

She offers these tips to avoid sticky situations:

• Talk to your host: If costs concern you, talk with the party planner before you RSVP. Durré suggests saying something like, “How generous of you to host so many people at the restaurant,” so that when you accept, you’re acknowledging that you are guests — not paying guests.

• Be direct: If it’s a family member or a friend you know well, don’t beat around the bush, says Durré. “You may just want to be more direct and say, ‘Are you covering the expenses by yourself or would you like us to share the expense with you?’ That way, there are no surprises.”

• Be honest: If unexpectedly faced with a bill, you’re under no obligation to pay it. Durré offers this script for people who want to take a stand: “When I’m invited to a party, I assume that the host is paying for it. To learn that I’m responsible for all or part of this is rather unexpected and rather off-putting. I wish you had told me beforehand. I’m really under no obligation to pay for this and I resent that you didn’t tell me in advance.”

Source: CNN

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